The Modesty Writers Guild

they always looked so lonely to me, and i never understood how people could be so cruel as to keep them in such a small bowl, floating in one place for, well... for the rest of their lives. siamese fighting fish, or betta fish, live solitary lives not because it is cruel as i had thought growing up, but because in most situations they will attack or kill any other betta fish they are near, as they are very territorial. i recently visited my brother tim in washington, dc, and he had one such amazing fish. it had a beautiful long tail, multi colored in purple and blue's. we began to talk about it and he was telling me random facts and behaviors of this 'lonely' fish and mentioned its aversion to mirrors. i had never heard about this and so tim showed me, the 'trick' is to hold a mirror up to the tank of the siamese fighting fish and it will puff up to more than twice its size because it thinks that in the mirror is another betta fish and must now defend its terr...

i think i was more excited about getting the used and dented helmet than actually what i was going to use it for. i lined up in a single file line, filled with anticipation, that wrapped around the small shed-like brick building. all boys were right around my age, no older than 12. i was asked my last name, crossed off the list, and then handed a green mesh shirt which i proudly wore around the house for the rest of the day, and most of the next. the helmets were white with a police sticker on the side of it, it looked like a badge but to me the whole outfit was a trophy itself. pee wee football, in my mind, was close to the NFL and spending many sundays sitting next to my dad watching him cheer for the cowboys, i felt it was my turn on the 'gridiron'. there was one small problem though, literally. i was actually develop more like a cheerleader, and not so much a cowboy. i was stick like and more than once my mother worried i had some virus or parasite living in me, keepi...

we are all going to die. just a heads up.

i was driving home one night, hours from home and my favorite passenger was fast asleep. i rarely turn on music when i drive, most bands i listen to our not good for 3 AM dark, long stretches of highway anyway. i usually listen to some sort of talk radio, (you hear the most random and borderline insane theories on backwoods talk stations). i stopped on a story about an all to familiar character, but this was not about his headlines, but about the low points of his life. when it comes to the past we often hear of the success, but rarely ever of the failure. if you think about it you never hear anyone at a funeral walk on stage and belittle the deceased or question publicly their character, you only hear the positive even if there is very little to speak of. in the same light i had heard more positive stories than negatives of this american man. i had listened to the speeches, envisioned his dreams, read books, and even wrote several papers on his influence in my own life. but this radio...

the slogan 'stay in school' is not just grossly overplayed, it really doesn't explain anything. it is more like a command, 'here is what you must do. why you ask? don't ask just stay'. this revelation hit me as i walked the halls of my mothers K-6 school in Haines City, Florida (probably because it was plastered on a few walls). I was there for a 'release party' my mother called it, not a record. butterflies. we gathered the children around, songs were sung, lessons were given, and i had the duty of releasing them into the 'wild'. These kids were asked to stay but i wondered if they truly had any idea why. that night i spoke at the community college i attended. afterwards i was asked to give a brief interview for the schools newspaper and one of the questions was 'do you think your education has had an impact on your career'. that's when my thoughts started flowing and i realized that it had not only everything to do with my career...

i really despise and adore estate sales. i guess its rather a love and hate relationship, i never really buy anything but just to be able to walk through someones house is almost like being able to read their journals or something. you can see what is in important to them, the pictures, the books, the organization, or lack there of. estate sales are basically a garage sale of, well everything. you can walk through a persons house who has probably died, which explains the reason why i hate them so much. its just creepy, i mean less than a month ago this piece of art was probably someones prized possession but now its for sale, tomorrow if its not sold it will probably have a big red slash through the ticket on discount, and if its still not sold it will most likely be in the dumpster or goodwill by the end of the week. someone LOVED that piece of art! at an estate sale a few days ago i walked through someones treasures and sifted through memories and prized moments ...

why do marketing gurus come up with the most ridiculous names when inventing their latest and greatest internet social networking or other such worldwide website. i mean everyone thought it was humorous in a ‘cutesy’ way when you first heard the name ‘GOOGLE’ but no one thought ‘twitter’ had the same appeal. but here we are a few years later and it stuck. whatever my next venture is going to be i am going to come up with some ridiculous name so that at first people hate it then later they can’t get rid of it. GUAZZLE.com, BLOMBIE.com, and SHUCKSLE.com come to mind, but i’ll get back to you on that. twitter, 140 characters of shear nonsense scripted out with abbreviated everything’s. one day whole sentences will just look like ‘JEBYO!WBYIFHY?@2LEGIT’ and people will know exactly what the other person is talking about. but i am not one to judge since literally (and sadly) i have to admit that i have 6 twitter accounts for various projects. (@anberlin, @stephenanberlin, @anch...

‘another bad day miss mary,’ the teacher would say as she shut the car door behind me, ‘another bad day.’ mrs. hodges was a stern woman, never stern to any of the other kids it seemed, just to me. i don’t remember exactly what i did to her to make her not like me, but it just set in. the north carolina christian school blamed it on ADHD, but my mother didn’t want to give me pills. either way it strained my relationship with my teachers and those around me my entire academic career. my relationship with school was more hate then love, i look back on very few moments of academia with pride or a positive memories of any sort. i was the kid who wore mostly black, not to be cool or even goth, just not to be noticed. i would attempt to keep a low profile, sticking to myself and literally keeping my held hung low while walking through the scores of school peers (hence ‘downcast eyes). in high school i would get my lunch from the cafeteria lady and eat my meal on the way to the library an...

“When it comes to life the critical thing is whether you take things for granted or take them with gratitude.” G. K. Chesterton quotes i had the chance to go to walter reed hospital yesterday, a military hospital that specializes in soldier rehabilitation. its attention to detail was obvious, but it is what one would expect seeing as it was occupied by soldiers. smiling faces enveloped the first wheelchair as it rolled past, an anomaly i assumed. but after awhile i noticed that it was more of a pattern that took me awhile to grow accustomed to. when we walked into the first room i didn’t know what to expect, i thought i was going to see a soldier laying on his back staring at the wall, daydreaming of some desert scenario where he twists and turns his way into a different outcome. but i found no hidden regrets in the three hours that we were there. the first guy ‘chris’ was surrounded by friends and family, with hundreds of cards posted over the place like wallpaper. he had a grin on ...

i have read several business books throughout the years, for college, in college, and beyond. it is so funny how focused we are on obtaining ‘it’ ($) but have you ever stepped back to figure out why we as a people want it. being ‘rich’ to me is far more than obtaining wealth, for me there are things equivalent or even greater than simply having financial freedom. what about health, happiness, joy, relationships, adventure. etc. possessions are the great salve . they cover, but they are not responsible for the healing. it seems we have been trained by handsome women and pretty women in the advertising that everyone seems happier when they are holding a bottle of _________. so year after year we begin to accumulate, and after awhile they have bought themselves into poverty with their hurt and pain still following them every turn they make. i think this is why there are so many men and women who have quarter/mid life crisis, and changing of jobs, and spouses. they are hurting childr...

'if you would attain to what you are not yet, you must always be displeased by what you are. for where you are pleased with yourself there you have remained. keep adding, keep walking, keep advancing.' ~saint augustine

i sat in church a few weeks back. it was a really archetectually asthetic structure, with wood beams, sterling silver, and large windows. honestly it felt more like a loft than a church. i wanted to live in it, not practice my faith there. as the service went on i noticed something so very peculiar. basically everyone that went to church there looked like they were from silver lake, california or williamsburg, nyc... basically 'hipsters'. not that i have anything against that at all, but upon further observation i saw that there was not one old person in the building, then i realized that there was not even one older person there, then i realized that there was not one person over 40 years old! in the book 'lord of the flies' a group of boys get stranded on an island and end up having to fend for themselves, before long one by one a group of the boys began to kill the other. it is a fascinating read, and short, and is one of my favorite books because it shows the shear...

“When you do nothing, you feel overwhelmed and powerless. But when you get involved, you feel the sense of hope and accomplishment that comes from knowing you are working to make things better.” -anonymous

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check out this weeks modesty blog on relevant magazine's website click here to check out 'your iron rusts' here -stephen *or just go to: http://www.relevantmagazine.com/community/blogs/YOUR-IRON-RUSTS.html

before the sudden burst of technological advancements mankind had to communicate using old fashion methods of 'talking face to face' & interpreting the body language presented which are both now as we know a barbaric and primitive form of interpersonal communication. now that we have deemed it obsolete we have to issue a new set of rules that go along with our newly formed communicational evolution. it seems to me you can NOT take the ‘old outdated ways of communication’ and apply it to the new way of computerized advancement. for instance: my brother was giving me his honest opinion in an email of something i created. even though it was a negative opinion i appreciated it because i would much rather brutal honesty then yes men. because i didn’t email him back right away, because i was working on something else, he took lack of response as a sign that i was upset or mad. tsk tsk paul for thinking that we live in the barbaric days where if i was silent after you said someth...

this is not your momma's facebook quiz, this is a test that most employers give to potential employees to see their value and potential hardships in the workplace. this quiz, for me, was rather right on. go to: http://www.keirsey.com/ 'then click the keirsey temperament sorter-II' on the right hand side of the page. go through the motions (make sure you don't click the box to receive emails). take the test and lets talk about your results in the comments! my test was about 95% dead on! -stephen i got: IDEALIST Idealists, as a temperament, are passionately concerned with personal growth and development. Idealists strive to discover who they are and how they can become their best possible self -- always this quest for self-knowledge and self-improvement drives their imagination. And they want to help others make the journey. Idealists are naturally drawn to working with people, and whether in education or counseling, in social services or personnel work, in journalism or ...

this week Kentucky Fried Chicken is giving away free meals with the coupon you can find here: www.unthinkfc.com you can help feed the homeless in your community by printing this free coupon out (good for a whole meal!) and distributing it to anyone you see that looks like they need a free meal. be a blessing to those less fortunate. AND giving away a free meal opens up a door to some great conversations and starting friendships! -stephen

modesty readers! this will take you less than five minutes to do but can make a HUGE difference in the fight against human trafficking. the senate foreign relations committee is on the brink of making a huge decision. we need to make as much noise as we can, letting the committee know that Human Trafficking needs to be stopped, and they need to make the issue a priority. please contact the state department and ask them to confirm Lou de Baca as mbassador at large to monitor and combat human trafficking at the state department. having a person in place to oversee trafficking could make a massive difference in getting laws passed, people protected, and justice served for people who have been trafficked. senator john kerry is the head of the senate foreign relations committee Phone 202-224-4651 is the majority office phone number. http://kerry.senate.gov/contact/office.cfm senator richard lugar is the minority leader of the committee. phone 202-224-6797 is the Minority office phone nu...