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Showing posts from March, 2004
"life is not a problem to solve, but a reality to be desired"
-kirekegard
"i'm new at this writing about 'deep thought' etc....but i'll give it a shot:

i guess i can call your entry on original thoughts a catalyst to what has
been a continuous stream of thoughts of my own--all in one day. One of the more
difficult questions i have asked myself is possibly the hardest and the easiest
question to answer. "Who am i really?" what type of person am i? i have been
observing people lately, and have noticed how many people change according to
who they are surrounded by. my immediate reaction is 'why can't they be
themselves around everyone? they are being fake.'
and then my hypocricy smacks me in the face.
i am the exact same way. i am my own chamelion--changing to fit in wherever i
am. i have tried to counteract this by telling myself that i am going to
start being myself around everyone. i will voice my opinions as i see fit. i am
going to go up to that person who is causing problems for everyone and tell it�…
'Dear Stephen,

There's been a lot of talk about fated love and even love at first sight on
the Modesty Writer's Guild and that really got me thinking about what love is.
How do you distinguish between infatuation and true love? Both sentiments, you
feel viscerally down to the marrow in your bones, but which is which?

I crush really easily. I remember my very first one being in kindergarten,
however as I got older I started to have these consuming crushes that I easily
mistook for fated love. Those crushes where you can barely function and you
spend you days dreamily lying on your bed thinking of this person, looking at
their pictures, mapping out your future together, and making silly little
connections that deem your infatuation written in the stars. Along with this is that
anxious feeling that drives you insane--this is not love. It's more like mad
cow disease where your brain turns into mush. Oh how I've suffered.

So I'd venture to say that love is…
how amazing to meet new people.
to hear new ideas, new passions, new loves.
sometimes i think im alone in thought. but i wonder now when the day of the last original thought was. every thought that i conjure has probably been thought many centuries before. thoughts of love and war, breaking hearts and getting heartbroken, of philosphys and theologies, etc. the beautiful thing is talking with others and hearing things that they have learned in their lifetimes which is proabably not an original thought but, it is an original thought to me. I just learned that St. Patrick was not from Ireland after all but from Whales, he was taken into slavery and escaped several times. amazing. he converted Whales and Ireland to Christianity, (therefore converting pagans whose symbol was the snake) and that is why it has been said that St. Patrick "drove the snakes out of Ireland." It was a metaphor, but a beautiful symbol.
what are some of your original thoughts, or what have you hypothos…
new favorite movie,
endless sunshine of the spotless mind.
i dont know how much to elaborate on since many of you have yet to see it. so in about a month i will post more on this topic but until then. "OK"
Life is so sudden, and then its gone. Sometimes the only one I have to hold on to permanently is not people at all, but memories of those people.

Scott Silcox, 5th grade, Mrs. Adams. He was more hyperactive than I. He was shorter than I, we got along because no one else got along with us, we were always in trouble together. I remember we both liked the digital underground, and he showed me that sitting in the back of the bus was to the advantage for boys like us. I moved to Florida shortly after 5th grade, never heard or saw him again.

David Koontz, we were both 13 years old, he lived outside the city limits, he lived in a trailer, but his home was like an empire of activity. We built forts, burnt He-Men in epic battles, and even swear to this day that skeletor almost came out of the fire at us. We talked of girls as if we knew what we were talking about. We would go camping, and he taught me about the outdoors, and still to this day those were some of my favorite memories. He pursu…