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Showing posts from August, 2005

dostoevsky

Beauty is not only a terrible thing,
it is also a mysterious thing.
There God and the Devil strive for mastery,
and the battleground is the heart of men.
Dostoevsky
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it is time to finally wake the dead,
though sleepers rest in guilty bed's.
with eyes awake they fall asleep,
their hearts doth toil, avoiding passions ill defeat.

what's become of this called modesty?
who killed what they thought they could not keep?
as if love bought into could not be sold,
we burn the book's before the stories unfold.

who burdened this thing to the daughter's of eve,
to pursue such things that one can not see?
for long hard years their lives revolve,
like a minor chord which seems nor to resolve.

i must admit i am as guilty as they,
to this matter i have been a hard working slave.
for in the beginning it is as a dear friend,
but strike's like slow moving venom quite near the end.

wake o sleeper from shallow of graves,
though you part the memories will remain.
try as you will for you shall never escape,
love in its splendor;
and death in it's heartbreak.


-7.27.05

the orphaned anything's

"when walking downtown here this evening, i intermittently look around at all these people with their armani suits, and the women with there channel handbags and matching scarves and wonder why they were so lucky to be born with everything figured out. they just look like they know what they are doing. if they have any insecurities at all it has been masked by there flawless makeup smiles and grappling, prestigious, and manly hand shakes. how do they get their teeth so white, how did they get success as a genetic predisposition, have they read some timeworn text that i have not yet ascertained? did they figure out who moved the cheese and why and did they get it back?
they look so... found.
and i feel so...opposite.
does money make one gratified? have i missed my calling? we have all heard the saying that money doesn't make a person happy but @ this point in life i have no money and i am not happy.im totally willing to try the whole rich thing. i could be guineane pig to prov…

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start a journal. stop smoking for good. write the screen play you promised yourself you would always write. take singing lessons, please. lose 10 pounds. gain 10 pounds in muscle. listen to a new type of music. read about another religion. book that ticket. don’’t call your x. stop looking for mr. right. start becoming mrs. right. start painting, start with your room. take a black and white photo. walk don’t drive next time. look around while walking.start a journal. try a different drink next time, it might be your new favorite. give the homeless man more than your money, give him a conversation. see something beautiful in chaos. see something beautiful in yourself. see something beautiful in both at the same time. call your family, yes all of them. enjoy the sunshine, even though your sweating. write a mission statement. write 10 places you want to see before you die. go to 20. talk to yourself. talk to God. really talk to someone you have never talked to before, even if youv’e had …

lets find out if this world is endless...

"I would rather live in a world where my life is surrounded by mystery than live in a world so small that my mind could comprehend it."
‚ Henry Emerson Fosdick
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my friend josh tillman is also one of the most refreshing musicians i have ever had the pleasure of listening to. i think when you hear him you will agree.

you can listen and order his new CD from his site jtillmanmusic.com
do yourself a huge favor and check his stuff out.

Please help. Give. be broken.

Please get involved.
this dear women has given her life to help orphans in Tanzania. She would love anyone to volunteer and go to Tanzania to help. If you cannot take the time off please send your prayers or thoughts. @ very minimum please email her and tell her thanks for making a difference in this world. Her email address is: lynnkaziahelliott@hotmail.com
this is a letter she wrote me updating me on her life. Just read her heart below.

Hello Stephen,
Greetings from Moshi in Tanzania on a very hot day! Thank you so much for your word of encouragement, the team appreciates it very much, when their work is recognized... My family and I serve freely, and we try to answer every desperate cry for help... As you will have probably seen on our mission statement, we do not ask for any funding - although - sometimes our need is great, we just wait for hearts to be inspired to send us a donation so we can help more children and more of the unsupported people in the bush..... Each week, we are…

dont go back to sleep

The breeze at dawn has secrets to tell you.
Don't go back to sleep.
You must ask for what you really want.
Don't go back to sleep.
People are going back and forth across the doorsill where two worlds touch. The round door is open.
Don't go back to sleep.
-Djalal ad Din Rumi

postsecret.com

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ok 2 different people told me about postsecret.com and it is now my favorite site on the web!
people send in postcards that mirror their darkest secret, and announce it to the world anonymously.
i think a lot of things i can see in myself. and i think i love it so much because i almost feel normal.

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stephen christian
brisban, australia
the paper girl
7.05

a site that reflects my thought pattern

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random
http://www.foundmagazine.com/
it is just random things found across the world
know any other random sites?
-estaban

no one alive will ever see this again.mars. august 27. 05

MARS
from: astronomy magazine.

The Red Planet is about to be spectacular! This month and next, Earth is catching up with Mars in an encounter that will culminate in the closest approach between the two planets in recorded history. The next time Mars may come this close is in 2287.

Due to the way Jupiter's gravity tugs on Mars and perturbs its orbit, astronomers can only be certain that Mars has not come this close to Earth in the last 5,000 years, but it may be as long as 60,000 years before it happens again.

The encounter will culminate on August 27th when Mars comes to within 34,649,589 miles of Earth and will be (next to the moon) the brightest object in the night sky. Mars will look as large as the full moon to the naked eye. Mars will be easy to spot. At the beginning of August it will rise in the east at 10p.m. and reach its azimuth at about 3 a.m. By the end of August when the two planets are closest, Mars will
rise at nightfall and reach its h…

money & the elusive sleep

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well its 3:30am and i cant seem to feel tired. jet leg set in, and i guess i have no reason to feel tired since i slept in till 5pm.
the topic of money is so, well im ignorant to the facts of money. me talking about it is like me trying to tell a person how to maintain a marriage. i have never been in a marriage so i couldn't tell you, and i have never had money so i don't really know what it feels like. what i can tell you is that while i have no financial merit i do consider myself very wealthy. i have a beautiful life, wonderful friends, and gas enough to get the local coffee shop. one of my closest friends, however, has a lot of money, but they are more concerned about hoarding it then they are about spending it. i think life is all about making memories, not getting a rush from a once a month bank statement. i read somewhere that while americans are rich in money they are poor on time, and just coming back from australia i saw it for myself. in australia even though the ma…