Showing posts from 2004

illogic? 9=240,000,000; the supreme court thinks so.

The question that reverberates through my mind is how does anyone hope to establish any government, that is not anarchy in every sense of the word, based on laws set by a relativist's perspective? Even if a person believes in moral relativism he could not hope to establish laws without hoping that who he governed do not share the same views, or eventually his government would be obliterated by broad interpretations of his law.
Yet America, through its judicial system (namely the Supreme Court) is slowly rising to the occasion with such men as Chief Justice Fred Vinson sitting amongst them.
"To those who would paralyze our Government in the face of impending threat by encasing it in a semantic straitjacket we must reply that all concepts are relative."
All concepts are relative? Relative to what? Popular opinion? yes, that could be a valid argument considering America is a majority rules society. But if it is an opinion to what the individual justice's personal con…

my top 5 books in 2004

these are the top 5 books that i thought were the most inspirational or educational this year for me personally. none were written in 2004, i just happen to get around to reading them this year, thats all.
1. The Good Earth- Pearl S. Buck; One reason I adored this book was not even the content of well written literature, but the life behind the book. She helped break down racial barriers well before the civil rights movement had taken flight. Her life is a novel of devotion and courage. The book itself is a wide open look at the Chinese culture around the turn of the century. Touching, lifelike, a coming-of-life book.
2. Da Vinci Code- Dan Brown; not for the weak of faith. intriguing to say the least, the last fiction book that kept me up at night in anticipation. Not as factual as just a really good novel.
3. Treason- Anne Coulter; An non-fiction conservative book about the McCarthy era communist scare in the 50's & 60's. Eye opening for all Republicans, convicting for a…

excuse moi'?

"Gbagbo’s government claims 62 of its supporters were killed," a recent article sited. Not another attack, not more innocent dead, not more Iraqies dead. But wait, where is Gbagbo? Actually its not in Iraq at all! Its in ABIDJAN, Ivory Coast. This is a colony of none other than the spineless French! Apperantly the French were not happy with the incoming government and decided to take it out on some of the leaders of the Gbagbo’s and their followers. France said they would not stand for "a system to develop that would lead only to anarchy or a regime of a fascist nature."
The thing that i find odd is that we are trying to oust a government who we know for a fact had a system that was in a dictatorship of a facist nature, and yet we had to ask the U.N. for help, and after much world filabustering they denounced us and our efforts.
To put down this goverment(in Abidjan, Ivory Coast) the U.N. pre-emptively sent in "4,000 French peacekeepers (that) would remain, …

the season for, well... a bastard.

What makes this the season of giving, who elected it thus, and how do I contest the bastard. Why have we narrowed down giving to just one season? Why are we suddenly more willing to donate time, money, and energy just in the prelude of the day that commercial retailers revere.
I believe that this should be an everyday occurrence, or a least an every day attitude. Others before myself. That is one of the only reasons that brought me to my faith in the first place, others.
I left a church, the last one I have regularly attended, about 4 years ago. Not that I don’t want a home church, but my job does not permit me to do anything on regular basis. ‘New Life,’ as it was called, was a small place of worship just on the outskirts of our small city, here in winter haven. Throughout the tenure of my stay, which was on the upwards of 6 years, I sat through many messages about giving and receiving. The problem was not that they were asking me to give, but where they were putting the money tha…


many people have questioned my stance on war.
I am not pro-war. i would wish that no one died in this war with Iraq, especially innocent victims. i am in fact pro-American with a Christian conscience.
i wish their was never another terrorist attack nor war in this world but i believe that is unavoidable. i want to be at peace with all men.
i agree with Mr. Arthur Holmes when he writes, "To call war anything less than evil would be self-deception. The Christian conscience has throughout history recognized the tragic character of war. The issue that tears the Christian conscience is not whether war is good, but whether it is in all cases avoidable."(1)
but please note when Paul wrote in Romans
"If possible, so far as it depends on you, be at peace with all men" (Rom. 12:18).
but sometimes it does not depend on you and that is when war comes into play.

'War and Sin
Whenever there is war, there are four elements that come together to determine the course of the …

miscommuncation transmogrufy's arguments

Problems of Communication:
is the number one problem in opposing sex communication emotion?
we as males are always trying to grasp how the female mind communictes, i even took a 'psychology of women' course in college and came out being even more confused then when i went in. here are basic truths in the communication expierence.
As soon as emotion is entered into the communication formula it seems to be flawed.


gross blanketed statements on political stance's

i understand these are broad, and not 100% correct all the time; thus stereotypes. i would love to do a psycological examination of behaviors and morals between conservatives and liberals. these are a few that i have observed but can not prove.



the wrong of passage; death

'im just glad she acknowledged God. its a step. if an unfortunate occurance proves God exsists if only to blame him, then reconciliation is at least a possibility down the road. its a step.'

a good book on this subject recomended by my friend kyle is "the problem with pain," by C.S. Lewis in which he explained the book and this topic thus, "it’s a classic clase of “the problem of pain” that c.s.lewis so eloquently delves into in the book of that name. It really does shed a lot of light on this “problem” in that the more unintelligent / lazy thinkers that surround us, fail miserably at acknowledging God in the day to day goings on in their lives, especially taking credit for all blessings or anything good….and then when something like a crisis or tragedy befalls them (which I need not point out these things are not surprises or cruel jokes, we all know the cycle of life and we know we are born and we die – I digress) they blame God…..blaming, I think, is a nat…

political test.

this is really interesting, and i would like to see everyones scores

i was

Economic Left/Right: -0.12
Social Libertarian/Authoritarian: -0.92

the closest people to me were nelson mandella and the dalai lama, the closest party to me was liberal republicans and the green.
interesting to say the least

in death we find hate? or what we knew all along...

i have been presented with an opportunity in these last couple days to contemplate life, but more than that death, and its effects.
in the final moments of life, it breaks down what matters most.
IT IS IN LIFE AND DEATH but for a second can see life with the utmost clarity.
IN LIFE: when a child was born you feel what is important, or what mattered. everything else becomes simple details. IN DEATH everything is viewed in finality. everything suddenly means more. stories from the past become askewed as brave acomplishments. failures once held over the other persons head in comparisons are now forgotten. one suddenly is remembered as having more friends than foes, and idle chatter now is every last will and testament. in life, or when things are going rather well on may never really speak to God, or even acknowledge his existance. and for what reason, life is good, there is really no need to search what one doesnt have expect to find. it seems that they are not intrested in pursuing any…

case 2: abortion

"I believe abortion is not a practice which many, if any, believe to be
"good". At best it is a necessary evil. There are all kinds of legitimate
reasons for the procedure that I would not feel comfortable confronting an
aborting mother over. Such reasons include rape, faulty "protection", or
even terminal diseases which are bound to be passed on to the child. But
then there are reasons which I struggle to accept, not that my opinion on
the matter is of any real significance to anyone but myself. Thank god.
These are excuses such as not wanting a child, or because one's boyfriend/
husband does not want one, or because the father left and the mother does
not want something to remind her of him. There is also the outstanding
return rate to a clinic, over 50 percent of aborters return within a year
for a second abortion. Now personally I hate the thought of a life being
stripped away by a glorified coat hanger, only to have another brother …

In Defense of Naivete

In Defense of Naivete

"I got an e-mail from my friend David today."
"Oh yeah. What did he have to say?" Shane turned on the blinker and
glanced back to make sure it was okay to change lanes.
"Not much," I replied. "Just that he loves me and that he's praying for
"WHAT?!" Jealousy raged in his voice. I was surprised the car didn't come
to a screeching halt. "Can I beat this guy up?" He obviously wasn't happy
about some other guy telling his girlfriend that he loved her.
"No. Don't worry about it," I assured him, "He's just one of my good guy
friends that I've been working with." He was still somewhat skeptical, but
I continued on, "You know . . . it's kind of crazy that he can write and
tell me that . . . but you can't."

There had been several nights that he had held me in his arms and I had
pondered when the words "I love you" would …


"In all honesty, it doesn't matter to me whether or not someone has an abortion. Most women do not have abortions as birth control, but because they simply cannot care for the child for whatever reason. Sometimes a woman becomes pregnant through rape and sometimes through incest. Most of these women do not have the mental capabilities to care for a child under these conditions. There's also circumstances where the mother is in bad health and will die if she haves the child. Abortion cannot be called murder if it's not of malicious reason. BUT THERE'S ADOPTION,which is always an option, and the decision is up to the mother. Most babies that are adopted are white males in perfect health, yes, in today's society! How many parents honestly want to adopt a child with a handicap or of another race, not many. the rest are left to be salvaged through and protected by the state and no child should grow up parentless. A fetus cannot feel pain until the 8th week, th…

invitation to the walking corpse

'An Invitation to a Beloved Walking Corpse:

I see past your falsehood and through your royal
cloak. My eyes behold your bilious state. I have
seen the fires of hell illuminate your face, and
still I am not afraid. You seek to steal the
skins of others, but I tell you your own can be
restored. Let me breathe life into your withered
flesh. I am air to your lungs, and a flow of
fresh blood to your quiet heart. I call you out
from the grave. Oh, to live again. To let the sun
warm your icy skin and the gentle wind remind you
God is near. To see with eyes unglazed by the
lie, to run, with life, with joy. There was a
dead man walking. The death march is over. I long
to quicken your mortal body. I will sing to you a
requiem for death, when you defeat it. The crown
of life is yours, and it shines. I will wash your
scarf colored red with blood. It is then you will
stand on a mountain. I will raise your lowly
hill, outside of vanity, outside of disillusion.
This is you, my prince. Stare off …

on love

"The Reality

The reality is, we are all liars. And if you think that you are not, then
you are lying to yourself. There is no stopping life's continuum. Whether
you want to or not, you are continually changing and evolving as an
individual. Therefore it is impossible to be the same person you were a
month ago. Circumstances, people, God, tragedy and triumph all contribute
to our daily understanding of life. For the lenses we peered through
yesterday are not the same as today's nor the ones we will look through

But for some reason each day we convince ourselves that we know what is
true. So in all sincerity, you speak words of significance. And you
believe whole heartedly that you are speaking words of truth. But then
something happens. Darkness begins to cloud your confidence and confusion
replaces your days' clarity. The words you spoke were true, but they are no

His name was Shane. His lie, "I love you."
He truly d…

Home comments,

thanks guys, it was to good to leave alone.

we were made to wander, estaban. the earthly find homes with whomever their hearts lie, wherever that may be, but it's fleeting. we have no homes here -- they're being built as we speak.

4:23 PM
Anonymous said...
yeah...i agree with the previous comment,but I have to add that I've had some of those same thoughts myself--having to move twice a year in college into all different res halls and houses. i cried the summer after i graduated b/c i just wanted to settle in somewhere. I just wanted roots. I don't at all mind traveling the world and i'm going to, but i think I wanted roots. I think thats what we want. All the stuff that I own--I could take it or leave it. Its not about material things and wanting a house or someplace cool to live. Its about wanting to find a place to rest. I have found that rest as I lay my head on the chest of my savior. However, he gave me a place to lay my head here, too. I have friends who …

what is this concept called "home"?

what is the concept of home, for me i found it fleeting. living a life on the road has left me wanting for a place of my very own. i dont have room or space to call my own.
"we wanderers, ever seeking the lonlier way, begin no day where we have ended another day; and no sunrise finds us where sunset left us."
-kahlil gibran
the prophet
in the movie the garden state i enjoyed the conversation in the pool because i felt there was some sense of truth about it. the fact is maybe we are searching out someone else to create the sense of home we so long for from our youth. why do we try so hard to grow up only to grow up and desire the responsibility (or lack there of) when we were adolecents.
life, like love, is a constant contridiction.

maybe that is why people stay in their hometowns. its not a crab hole like we had once presumed, people move back not because they feel that they can do no better, but because they are trying to regain something that is forever lost.
a sense of h…

why did the young vote not come out? answer below

in an article on msnbc ( and all over television the night of november 2nd they were debating the fact that the young vote did not come out as many had anticipated, being that 10% of people coming out to vote were first time voters, the same number that came out in 2000.
all these bandwagons against bush such as; rock against bush, punk voter, rolling stone magizine, nofx, vote or die, mtv (the most biased of them all), and others couldnt stop bush from becoming president, and im sure today they are wonderng why.
i have the answer.
if you look at the target audience of mtv (12-15 year old girls), rock against bush (13-17 year olds), punk voter (13-18), etc you see a startling fact that the vast majority of the audience that buys/watches their products/programing is under tha age of 18 and can not vote!!!
so next time fat mike of nofx wants to start a rally and rock against anything he might want to try and target some other people beside…
we the walking corpses all dressed in our black tuxedos
and silk ties
who we really are veiled in falsehood.
no one is honest
no one is true
let me unveil who i am so others may learn

i am a walking corpse
look at my mantel of purple attemting to convince you i am royalty.
i am no king but on the contrary a man servant who stole hears and this cloak.
i seek skin like riches so i can feel better about my own corpse.
in self seeking i stumbled upon this crown.
i deserve death but instead found this psuedo life laying in a gutter ordained in these fine clothes.
all an illusion of someone that is not me.
see this halo?
i stole it.
see this glow about my face?
it is the fire of hell behind me thta makes my apperance so bright.
oh the red scarf around my neck, it is beautiful i agree. but it was white until i dipped it into the blood of those i had to crush to get to this hill i have convinced you is a mountian. success is a four letter word, validity is a self serving lie. oh granjure o…


A Blindman once stood upon this corner,
complete with wooden pole,
attached to a medal fixture at the bottom to announce his arrival.
He waves his cane to and frough in the air,
looking for what he can not see.
He tapes the stick upon the ground.
He is in such a foreign place,
now searching for what he can not find.
he wanders a few feet to the north,
seeing clearly that this may not be the correct direction.
East feels better, he strengthens his stride in that direction.
His staff hits pavement, then stone, then gravel
which soon turns to ash.
South then, or west perhaps he thinks silently...
or southwest, but first he must find where he began from.
Aimlessly he wanders,
eagerly searching for something he will never lay eyes upon.
But look! who are all those people following his every move?
A sea of men and women who can all see on their own, but they are all silent,
They do not turn in any direction other then this blind man with an elegant title!
Who is he?
Then i noti…

Ametuer Youth

oh the triumph of man,
to august my friend!
we will march on.
and were we all happy in our ametuer youth?
one would hope.
i wonder if i will want to or could exhange this day for that,
if but one.
i know to run again would be a feet!
and but again i will, or fly?
who knows, and at that age will i care?
i will reminice on a lovers first kiss
and on more innocent times.
oh Tabitha we were free once.
we were young once,
we were free and innocent once.

-Blaise Lawhawne

she knows my name.

oh how failure knows me by name.
she follows me from street to street.
her lipstick traces stain pillow cases,
and yet she, relentlessly places my face
upon gravel, and broken glass made of words and deeds.
while bleeding i find friends vanish as ghosts
and the corpse of loves past turn up missing.
realize this;
it is not the success that measures the worth of a man,
but how and if he learns from his failure that set him


Billy left behind immortality

Why is it that Americans so crave immortality? Well there is no such thing to my knowledge, yet if we could buy it would we? Are we scared of death or the unknown, and if we are not why do we put such an emphasis on youth? The most confusing, lonely, forlorn years of my life are glorified as "the best years of my life" as one of my high school teachers put it. Was she insane? She must have had a better high school experience than I did, I remember sitting in class after she said that scared, and pissed. "If its all downhill from here i am f#$^@!".

The American Indians and Eskimos revere the elderly in their tribes, they knew that they had great wisdom and many years of knowledge that could better their lives. Now we heave elderly into homes and forget their existence.

I "adopted a grandparent" when I was living in Orlando, it was a class project for humanities but even after the semester was over I kept visiting "Billy". I saw pictures of her wh…
"To me, it sounds as though the point Da Vinci was trying to make somewhat
parallels a point C.S. Lewis makes in his book, Mere Christiantity. This
'everything in balance' does make sense. One illustration Lewis uses is that you can
understand sleep and why it is important when you're awake, but not while
you're sleeping. Or perhaps a more appropriate example is something that i am
often susceptable to: when you stay up late many nights cramming for that
important math exam that carries significant weight on your GPA, you do not see any of
the mistakes ('careless errors' so to speak) that you may make in solving a
problem, no matter how many times you check over it. then when the exam is
returned, now that you have had some time to relax, catch up on sleep and not
worry about the exam, you notice those careless errors that you shouldn't have
made, like adding when you clearly should have multiplied. schools schedule
prolonged breaks through…

tao of stephen/ leonardo da vinci

I have always tried to live and enlighten others to my theory of "living in balance", which states; everything that is of the utmost importance, and morally upheld in ones life must be used, utilized, revealed to others, and obtained, in balance.  i am open to arguments and discussions disproving my theory of balance, but thus far have run into little obsticles when one considers the Christian crusades, terrorism in the name of religion, drug abuse, the workaholic's child, alcholoism, etc.

while reading on the life of leonardo da vinci (1452-1519) i discovered he to believed in a theory of balance. Here was a well known painter who thought of a flying machine 400 years before the airplane first took off. He was a sculptor, architect, musician, engineer, scientist, and mathematician. with quite a resume' one would consider him to be an overachieving workaholic, but contrary to belief Leonardo said...

"Every now and then go away
have a little relaxation,
for when…

having writ

The Moving Finger writes; and, having writ,
Moves on: nor all thy Piety nor Wit
Shall lure it back to cancel half a Line,
Nor all thy Tears wash out a Word of it.
Omar Khayy'am



i was reminded of the book "the alchemist" today when it talked about the "whole world conspiring together when you concede to follow your dream". my friend max and christine sent me a gift, which included a book called 'wisdom of the ages' by wayne dyer. here we are on modesty talking about solitude and serenity and the first chapter of my new book is entitled "meditation" and starts out with these two amazing quotes;

Learn to be silent,
Let your
quiet mind
listen and absorb.
(580 BC- 500 BC)

and my favorite...

'All man's miseries derive from not being able to sit quietly in a room alone.'
- Blaise Pascal

On this topic of silence and solitude Mr. Dyer adds this...
"It has been estimated that the average person has sixty thousand separate thoughts each and every day. The problem with this is that we have the same sixty thousand thoughts today that we had yesterday, and we'll repeat them again …

atheist at first sip

"The first sip from the cup of natural science makes one an atheist, but at thebottom of the cup, God awaits."
- Werner Heisenberg, nuclear physicist

thanks Lianne for the quote

thoughts for jess on big city solitude

how fortunate you are to live in a city where "losing yourself in the crowd" is an option.  the smaller the city, the more elusive our precious solitude becomes.  in mine, because of the size and the job which i hold, to step outside is to be instantly recognized and instantly hailed.  here lie a few suggestions -- "tips and tricks," if you will --  pulled from the experiences of a jealous hunter of loneness and seclusion:for coffee shops -- the most obvious haunts for those seeking solitude:  choose the darkest, loneliest corner.  don't make eye contact with other loners.  rotate.  avoid becoming a "regular."  if the baristas begin pulling your shots before you are fully through the door, gather your belongings and move onward.less obvious:  the Industrial Part of Town.  most cities have them, and once the steel workers and cannery operators have called it a day, it is yours for the taking.cemeteries:  not for everyone, obviously, but if…
I'm trying to write something in reply to "Please do research if you believe or don't believe in evolution and write me and tell me why/why not." buthey, that's no piece of cake *shock* I don't believe in evolution, at least not in evolution as the origin of life. But why..? Well of course I have my arguments but i don't want to get a story like "cos the Bible tells me so - now I have to invent a nice theory that 6000 years makes fit in the I-don't-know-how-many million years of evolution" it is not like that. I know what I believe but it's hard to write it Darwin another language and in a short message. I'm trying, I'm trying. It's underconstruction, like 90% of all the things I'm doing."

please do not use the bible as a reference point on evolution simply because a debate between you and an evolutionists would end quickly in defeat because a macro-evolutionists would most likely NOT believe …

is solitude in downtown NYC possible?

"Dear Stephen,
You are absolutely right about the fact that silence and solitude can do a lot of
good. But I find it extremely hard to find that in this day and age. Where I live,
there is nowhere to go to get away from the noise or the phone calls. So what's a
person to do?

Anyways, my question to you is: What do you suggest us busy city kids do?"
-jessi mo

well first i would suggest what is probably the obvious which is to get away, plan a trip to camp a couple hours away, Buddha wondered out of his castle and wondered about the kingdom and eventually out of the city to seek enlightenment, Jesus spent 40 days in the desert and many times He is said to wonder "into the wilderness". So if you can, leave. Get in your car fill up the tank and pick a direction. go. or bus, or train, or hitchhike, etc.
but more realistically i totally understand that sometimes those things are impossible but honestly one time i found solitude on the strip in Los A…

solitude + silence = serenity

previously i believe i quoted a saying that said
"solitude is the furnace of transformation", but i have learned through the course of this week that i believe that it is not only solitude, but silence.
try going one hour with no phone, no computer, no music, no talking, no internet, just you and serenity. i don't think many of you will try it because a lot of us are afraid of the outcome... your afraid of what you might hear in the still,   yourself.
others will start, they will get away into the woods, and then 10 minutes into it their mind will begin to wander and think of 110 other things they should be doing, and 10 minutes after that return home to reply to that email or return that "urgent call". but if you succeed in going an entire hour of silence, not saying one word, in solitude, i think you will find one thing easier to discover...yourself.

Evolution continued

"To Joseph. (meh... Don't post it if you think it's worthless ;) questionnaires mark
words I wasn't sure about)

I've searched too - I have found only parts of the entire answer so I'm still
searching. But a book which helped me much was a book from Peter school. Not saying
that I completely agree with it, but it is at least very interesting. He tries to
prove that the creation is not an evolution, but the opposite: it's a degeneration.
In Eden it was perfect and since then it went worse and worse, that would explain
things like Aids and Sears: new faults in the human DNA. (peters opinion about
mirco-evolution is that it's not evolution but just variety(?)) To me it was a
complete new idea. It has been translated in English and here's where you can find
the first chapter(?): click on
'the book' (it's a horrible site but... you'd just read the text"

Thanks L for wr…

letter from a skeptic

"dear stephen,
first thanks for your honesty about not knowing all the answers. I respect the fact that you admit your imperfect, I think we all are and for 'leery' to judge you is sad because it sounds like she was more or less condemning and not encouraging. But whatever. Anyway, to be honest I struggle now with the fact that evolution seems so reasonable, I look at darwins "tree of life" and feel it gives a plausible explanation of how we got here. I understand that you don't have all the answers, but please help, im drowning in doubt."
-joseph "the skeptic"

dearest joseph,
I think you speak for alot of us, when you say that you have become a skeptic because of what you have seen in your high school text books. But here is where I stand. I am a micro-evolutionist-intelligent design-"big bang"* theorist. Macro-evolution is the theory that all things evolve slowly "by accumulating slight, successive, favorable variations' a…

burn me, and you only burn me out

quote:albert einstein on success.

Try not to become a man of success but rather to become a man of value.
Albert Einstein (1879 - 1955)

the greatest success at being a qualified failure

"I have been reading some of your entries, and the first question that comes to mind
is; What makes you so qualified to make these judgements/analyses? I know, you
repeat yourself and talk about not living for yourself and living for others, and not
caring what others think, but it seems that you contradict yourself. The SteVen I
see from afar and the StePHen from the site seem like 2 different people. The March
24th entry made me laugh. Do you pretend to be someone else when you write your
entries? Do you take your own advice? Just wondering."

well first i must say thank you for not only writing me but also reading
i am in no way qualified to write modesty. i am a failure @ relationships
and the march 24 entry was more from people learning from my mistakes than
anything else.
i am human. i have made horrible mistakes in my life. i dont consider myself a good person, if anywhere on modesty i have made
that assumption please tell me and i will erase …

behind closed doors of "the rockstar"

thank you for the emails, you made all the difference.
well i must say how sorry i am for the neglection of modesty. the last three and half months have been crazy, to say the least. i have seen the country twice, and met a ton of people. thanks to all the friends and fans i have met these past few months, you have made this one of the most exciting times of my life.
thanks to: the oviedo kids, the Irmo clan, jim jack andrew anthony and tim from bayside, chip casey brett chad josh josh and brucy from juliana, seth allen roberts lane etc from the wa, youwithoutme *sorry about the crickets, josh and his amazing keyboarding and emoryboard, number one fun and their pride mobile! ashmabash, adam for helping @ otown cornerstone, tay tay, melbourne per diam seth, stewtwizat, jimmy and naomi stori, andy!! *see you soon (soty!), amy for the haircuts, bob from hey mercedes for never returning phone calls! chad johnson for mt hood! phil from story of the year *the best halo player ever! christine husmilo for my LV wallet, clayton fergie for indian …

Death to Materialism

creating needs and wants where none previously existed.
What do we really need? What do we really want?
and what are the differences between the two?

America is consumed with consuming!
we are rich in material possessions but poor in quantity of time.

Do your realize that you purchase out of fear?
think about that for a moment, we purchase the most modern trends so that others (who we don't know) will find us socially acceptable.
Try buying something you like instead of trying to impress people you don't.
Stop trying to impress people with your stuff and start impressing them with your life.

Simplicity is the answer, become a minimalist.
Why are we so attatched to our possessions?
do we control our possessions or do our possessions control us?
"You are not your khakis" -Tyler Durgen (fight club).

3 ways to kill materialism in our daily lives.

1. buy things for usefulness rather than status
2. reject anything that produces an addiction in your life…

i don't know if many of you know that i have a website where i have put up a couple of my songs. i know they are old but i have not had the chance to record any more recently. but i will, soon, i hope. my friend Ben Harben did this website for me for free, so if your in need of a website contact him at

I was in 5th grade, my dads job took us everywhere around the United States, I never really had a place to call home until we moved to Florida later down in life. We had just moved to Irmo, South Carolina and I had met neighbor friends who were around me and my brother Paul ’s age. The invited us to go skating at “skaters choice” a local roller skate rink where frequent all night skates were exercised. My parents allowed my brother and I to attend one of these such events, so on a Friday night we left home, with enough money to rent skates, but not enough for speed skates.
It is amazing how that our perception of fashion and self-worth seem to adapt to how others view us over time. We slowly evolve into the words and actions of others pushed upon us in our young lives. We are like a statue, slowly being built by family and peers, the concrete; words. The chissle; our self worth. But I marched to my own drummer in Irmo that night.
Skating to the beasty boys “you’ve got to fight …
"the book of love is long and boring, no one can lift the damn thing it's full of
charts and facts and figures and instructions for dancing."
-aimee the cynic.

Then my dear aimee you have never been in love.
One who is in love could never describe love, it is not boring or long at all.
It hits you in the same way a prize fighter would strike, it is unpredictable like weather,
it sees neither race, creed, or background... It sees what is truly there;
uninhibited passion.

Do not force yourself to fall in love, love is something designed by our maker
it comes in due time, and in due season.

do not search for it, It is not a treasure to be hunted or won, it is free and
audacious like wind, or God. We can't see it but we know its there.

Many wars have been fought, many lives have been lost, many hours have been spent, and days wasted on this complicated theorem called "love". You think it is facts and figures, I say it is simple and innate chemistry.
"In the song amazing grace (which I have found memories of from St Joe, laying in grandma's lap and having her sing it to us in church) it says "how sweet the sound that saved a wretch like me". I believe many Christians have forgotten that we are STILL that wretch and the only thing that saves us, or makes us different, is that we have accepted Gods grace... We may change and attempt to seek God but that does not make one "good" or better, we are simply STILL that wretch, but a wretch that has exercised grace. Most Christians believe (as I am guilty of in the past) that they are no longer that wretch but one who is simply found and therefore transformed with no association to those who have chosen otherwise."
-Christian Winterset
"life is not a problem to solve, but a reality to be desired"
"i'm new at this writing about 'deep thought' etc....but i'll give it a shot:

i guess i can call your entry on original thoughts a catalyst to what has
been a continuous stream of thoughts of my own--all in one day. One of the more
difficult questions i have asked myself is possibly the hardest and the easiest
question to answer. "Who am i really?" what type of person am i? i have been
observing people lately, and have noticed how many people change according to
who they are surrounded by. my immediate reaction is 'why can't they be
themselves around everyone? they are being fake.'
and then my hypocricy smacks me in the face.
i am the exact same way. i am my own chamelion--changing to fit in wherever i
am. i have tried to counteract this by telling myself that i am going to
start being myself around everyone. i will voice my opinions as i see fit. i am
going to go up to that person who is causing problems for everyone and tell it�…
'Dear Stephen,

There's been a lot of talk about fated love and even love at first sight on
the Modesty Writer's Guild and that really got me thinking about what love is.
How do you distinguish between infatuation and true love? Both sentiments, you
feel viscerally down to the marrow in your bones, but which is which?

I crush really easily. I remember my very first one being in kindergarten,
however as I got older I started to have these consuming crushes that I easily
mistook for fated love. Those crushes where you can barely function and you
spend you days dreamily lying on your bed thinking of this person, looking at
their pictures, mapping out your future together, and making silly little
connections that deem your infatuation written in the stars. Along with this is that
anxious feeling that drives you insane--this is not love. It's more like mad
cow disease where your brain turns into mush. Oh how I've suffered.

So I'd venture to say that love is…
how amazing to meet new people.
to hear new ideas, new passions, new loves.
sometimes i think im alone in thought. but i wonder now when the day of the last original thought was. every thought that i conjure has probably been thought many centuries before. thoughts of love and war, breaking hearts and getting heartbroken, of philosphys and theologies, etc. the beautiful thing is talking with others and hearing things that they have learned in their lifetimes which is proabably not an original thought but, it is an original thought to me. I just learned that St. Patrick was not from Ireland after all but from Whales, he was taken into slavery and escaped several times. amazing. he converted Whales and Ireland to Christianity, (therefore converting pagans whose symbol was the snake) and that is why it has been said that St. Patrick "drove the snakes out of Ireland." It was a metaphor, but a beautiful symbol.
what are some of your original thoughts, or what have you hypothos…
new favorite movie,
endless sunshine of the spotless mind.
i dont know how much to elaborate on since many of you have yet to see it. so in about a month i will post more on this topic but until then. "OK"
Life is so sudden, and then its gone. Sometimes the only one I have to hold on to permanently is not people at all, but memories of those people.

Scott Silcox, 5th grade, Mrs. Adams. He was more hyperactive than I. He was shorter than I, we got along because no one else got along with us, we were always in trouble together. I remember we both liked the digital underground, and he showed me that sitting in the back of the bus was to the advantage for boys like us. I moved to Florida shortly after 5th grade, never heard or saw him again.

David Koontz, we were both 13 years old, he lived outside the city limits, he lived in a trailer, but his home was like an empire of activity. We built forts, burnt He-Men in epic battles, and even swear to this day that skeletor almost came out of the fire at us. We talked of girls as if we knew what we were talking about. We would go camping, and he taught me about the outdoors, and still to this day those were some of my favorite memories. He pursu…
Minnesota, looking forward to a train station. had a great talk tonight with my friend aaron. the peace that that man has obtained is incredible. how honest. love emanates from his being, i think he is the closest to meeting the persona of mohat Gandhi that i will ever come. why do we work so hard to gain the attention of the opposite sex. ruth! listen to me, if you really want to attract those of the opposite sex know yourself, know what makes you operate, be passionate about something. passion is contagious, embrace life, stop looking for mr. right and become mrs. right. the time, the place, ...fate itself comes together on its own accord and does not hurry any faster because of a nice outfit, a flirtatious smile, or cosmetics. be who you are and in that attraction lies. why work so hard to become what other desire, because that only leaves you desperate, wanting, and lacking of any true happiness. stop looking to others to measure your own standards or beauty, realize that you are …
' "i want love how it is... a sleep deprivation pain in my chest that is only filled
when her voice rings through my ear, touches my hand, or slows down to catch a red
light so we can have one more second in each others eyes, and lips."

i wish i had said that. that sums up my thoughts about what i want from love so
well. but isn't love also that comfortable silence sitting in the car while driving
through the nite? no touch is needed, no whisper spoken. it's an ideal, to me at
least. i long for love in the sense that i want to know for certain that i want no
one else ever again in my life. to be able to say without needing another's
assurance that i love one person more than i love myself. i want it all and nothing
less. will i ever attain that goal? i can honestly say that i don't know. i don't
know for certain if it even exists. but what good is it to not dream? i'd rather
dream of a false ideal than live without a dream at all.'…
denver, colorado
how very presuming that you would think these posts are about you?
oh hast vanity inspired your eyes?!
my world does not revolve around you, never did.
come clean. another heart full of lackluster dispointments. why were you even here? there is a voice inside my head. is it yours? obviously not, the messages still seems so unclear. there is poison in your drink so you desire to pass it across the table tword me. but i tasted that cup a year ago, and i will pass kindly dear if you please. to advance you in age, to be taught by solomon, to taste life all on your own, it is not the years that seperated... but the expectancy of life that i am so deporting prone. it is not commitment that i feared, though it does bite, but the level in which your mind has wondered. i think your in love with having someone there, not me. and i am disinterested in what in life you have pondered. so take the chance to find your own way for it is what your passionate for that i desire, dont …
san francisco, california.
sitting here, i can hear the rain beat the roof of this place. U2 sings in the background and i think melancholy describes the mood here. i have not got a good feel for this town, and don't believe i will this time either. but this isn't about this place any more, actually not much in life has grand importance like getting to chicago. there is a world between me and the future now... but this is the first time i have ever been able to calculate its time table. 12 days, 2 hours, and a couple of minutes. i have been humbled these last few shows where people come up to me and tell me that modesty "says what they feel" amazing and humbling all at the same time.

so let me expound on my new theory of "everything in balance", which aaron from me withoutyou said was a good philosophy (often denoted by rumi) but can get misinterpreted with being warm and neither hot nor cold on any one idea. i agreed, a little miffed that someone had found …