miscommuncation transmogrufy's arguments
is the number one problem in opposing sex communication emotion?
we as males are always trying to grasp how the female mind communictes, i even took a 'psychology of women' course in college and came out being even more confused then when i went in. here are basic truths in the communication expierence.
As soon as emotion is entered into the communication formula it seems to be flawed.
I BELIEVE THAT WHEN YOU TALK ABOUT EMOTION, YOU HAVE TO LOOK AT IT FROM TWO DIFFERENT ANGLES IN A PATICULAR EQUATION. IT SOUNDS AS THOUGH ONE VIEWS EMOTION AS A BLANKET STATEMENT FOR BOTH MALE AND FEMALE. WE ARE TWO DIFFERENT ANIMALS. REALIZE THIS IS FURTHER MADE DIFFICULT WHEN YOU SEPERATE US INTO GENDERS.
UNDERSTAND THAT THIS (MEANING COMMUNICATION) IS ALREADY FLAWED BETWEEN MALES AND FEMALES. WE BASICALLY HAVE TWO DIFFERENT WAYS OF LOOKING AT LIFE, COMMUNICATION, GOALS, DREAMS, AND PURPOSE. MEN DESIRE SOLITUDE MORE THAN WOMEN. MEN SEE THEMSELFS AS A LONE WARRIOR WHERE AS WOMEN SEE THEMSELFS AS PART OF THE GROUP, TRIBE, FRIENDSHIP CIRCLE AS NOTED IN THE FOLLOWING.
noted on http://www.afirstlook.com/archive/diffvoice.cfm?source=archther
BY Carol Gilligan
Contrary to the descriptive words of attachment chosen by women, men select a vocabulary of self-reference that is clearly individualistic. The male "I" is defined by separation. Men distinguish themselves from others by their accomplishments, and their individual climb to the top is a solitary pursuit.Gilligan notes that these masculine and feminine self-portraits are consistent with childhood fairy tales. The common male fantasy is going forth alone into the world to slay dragons. The typical female dream is an intimate relationship. Snow White and Sleeping Beauty wake up not to be world beaters but to marry a prince.
Gilligan says the male image of going forth alone is consistent with masculine relationship patterns. The average adult male has a wide circle of friendly relations, but no intimate friends. Women picture themselves as part of a closely knit network of intimates; they are in the center of a web of connectedness. The difference between the self-descriptions of men and of women is consistent with a distinction long recognized in the field of group dynamics, Groups need a mix of task-oriented and relationship-oriented members. Males tend to be more concerned with getting the job done; females tend to be concerned with holding the group together.
WE EVEN VIEW COMMUNICATION DIFFERENT AS FAR AS FUNCTION AND PURPOSE. AS MEN WE USE OUR WORDS IN THE SEARCH OF INFORMATION; WOMEN USE COMMUNICATION AS A WAY TO DRAW INTIAMATE. ONE OF THE FEW COMMONPLACE FOR THE MALE AND FEMALE IN A RELATIONSHIP IS IN SETTING GOALS DUELLY NOTED HERE.
Women often use communication to get closer to others, while Men tend to use communication to get across information and gain control. When this occurs it can be difficult for men and women to communicate effectively... try to learn from each other so you both can broaden your communication skills.
Setting goals together and achieving them will bring you closer as a couple... They say that the only thing that can let you down are your own expectations. So set reachable goals together and put what you both know together as a couple and reach for the top.
IN SUMMATION NO ONE IS GOING TO CLAIM THAT WE ARE NOT DIFFERENT, (EXCEPT MAYBE FOR EXTREME FEMINISTS) BUT THE CHALLENGE IS TO FIND A MEDIUM BETWEEN KNOWLEGE FOR THE MALE IN CONVERSATIONS AND DRAWING CLOSER WITH THEIR PARTNER FOR THE FEMALE. COMMUNICATION IS NOT WITH WORDS ALONE, BODY LANGUAGE IS SPOKEN MORE THAN WORDS, (SEE LINK BELOW), COMMONPLACE IS THE GOAL, AND THE LESS MISCOMMUNICATIONS, THE EASIER IT IS TO BUILD A LASTING RELATIONSHIP.
(ANOTHER ARTICLE OF NOTE IS http://ohioline.osu.edu/hyg-fact/5000/5280.html