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Showing posts from 2005

aloha.

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i am sorry about not giving you updates on the recording process, but we took a break for aaron to see his friend that is a girl, and for me to take a quick business trip (anberlin) to hawaii. right now im sitting in starbucks (wierd) in the middle of oahu. hawaii is like one huge cultivated disney theme park, its absolutly flawless. we will pick back up and record in january, because i am producing a band called 'the vow,' from lakeland, florida. ill tell you more later, but until then please buy an album from the band 'the innocence mission,' they are all im listening to here.

(if for some reason i should stop breathing on this trip please tell my family that i want 'these days' by nico played at my ending ceremony)

walk the line...

So, I learn from my mistakes. It's a very painful way to learn, but without pain, the old saying is, there's no gain. I found that to be true in my life. You miss a lot of opportunities by making mistakes, but that's part of it: knowing that you're not shut out forever, and that there's a goal you still can reach.
- Johnny Cash

fourth

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this is so out of my element at points. i forget that im not restricted by a record label or pop formula. this is definitely a growing point in my musical life, i feel as an artist i am exploring into the depths of music without getting arty for art's sake. we came up with an idea on the song 'sheet music' to set the mic up right on the piano so i in essence sing right into the piano. we put books on the pedal so that the piano would hold every note i sang. the outcome is lush and noticeable. when you hear the song you will pick up on it. i really enjoy working with aaron, he has an ear for music and knows where i want to take this music. i have had a lot of cool people hanging out around me during this process. john bucklew, franc, lamar grey, travis mitchels, racheal and racheal, jack, drew, nichole, etc. thanks guys for the support and free coffee.
-estaban

orlando, florida, usa.

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tres.

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good news everyone. aaron is now officially mayor of space. we haven't started yet today because he had to purchase a sad happy tree day. no big deal.
we have started on the vocals already, and i couldn't be happier. we are going to leave a lot of 'mistakes' because i want the recording to sound real, like your actually in the studio or listening to us live. i have some acoustic shows coming up and will give you more info on them when i get it (including fordham university, nyc in december).
-estaban

*if you want me to play at your university/coffee shop just fly me out and ill do it! email: kyle@arsonmediagroup.com

seconds.

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the second day of recording, and it feels as though it is going to become everything i hoped it was going to be.
yesterday we knocked out all the piano parts, and finished guitars. there are going to be some amazing moments on this EP.
alot of these songs are inspired by future memories. on several songs i pretended as though i was 70 years old and was writing songs about life lived. recently there have been alot of people i have come in contact with that have taught me about the different stages of life. jack and racheal, just starting out. angela and kyle, having first child. ken and michelle, in the heart of life. paul and bonnie arnold, in the winter of life but still in love. fascinating. fascinating that im going to experience all the stages in time to come. we all will.
who will we be then?
when looking back on life what would we wish we could tell ourselfs at this very moment.
i wish you all wiser than your age.
-estaban

first day of tracking.

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the machine that writes the music.
tracking guitar.





yesterday went amazing. after 2 stops at starbucks and lunch at crispers we ended up working 13 hours. i wish all the producers i worked with were this much of a workaholic. i could be like wayne newton (that guy has come out with more than 134 records!!!).

im off to track piano, will write more when i get good pictures.

project of solo

one wish of mine has always been to record a solo record. please don't spread rumors that we are breaking up because that is not my heart, and that is not happening.

tomorrow i start recording here in central florida with aaron marsh (copeland) as my producer. to distance myself a little from anberlin i am using louis (gasoline heart/the kick) on bass, john bucklew (copeland) on drums, and i'll play guitar and piano. the stuff i have up online (purevolume.com/stephenchristian) is not an accurate portrayal of what is going to occur when you get the four of us in a studio together.

i am debating whether or not it is going to be an EP or an LP. 6 songs are on guitar where 4 are on piano, including a song that i fell in love with by my favorite band and popularized in the book "perks of being a wallflower." but me and aaron will discuss such topics tomorrow morning. so far the song i am looking forward to playing the most is called 'calm yourself'.

ill try to keep…

nothing average ever stood as a monument to progress.

Nothing average ever stood as a monument to progress. When progress is looking for a partner it doesn't turn to those who believe they are only average. It turns instead to those who are forever searching and striving to become the best they possibly can. If we seek the average level we cannot hope to achieve a high level of success.
-A. Lou Vickery

speaking engagement/orlando

friends,
i am speaking on dating relationships this sunday in orlando, florida.
for more info check out whatsyourstatus.com
-esteban

live. and live well.

two weekends ago a young pastor from waco texas, kyle lake, was killed in an unfortunate accident at his church.
kyle never got a chance to share his message with his congregation that night at university baptist.
his notes were on the pulpit, ready for him to speak in the evening meeting, but he never got to share what was on his heart.
below is the conclusion of his message, may his last written words inspire your life today.
-esteban


'Live. And Live Well.
BREATHE. Breathe in and Breathe deeply. Be PRESENT. Do not be past. Do
not be future. Be now.
On a crystal clear, breezy 70 degree day, roll down the windows and
FEEL the wind against your skin. Feel the warmth of the sun.
If you run, then allow those first few breaths on a cool Autumn day to
FREEZE your lungs and do not just be alarmed, be ALIVE.
Get knee-deep in a novel and LOSE track of time.
If you bike, pedal HARD… and if you crash then crash well.
Feel the SATISFACTION of a job well done—a paper well-written, a
project thoroughly co…

burn them and you only burn us out.

in a recent interview i was asked about how i felt about burning cd's bur who ever thought that burning CD's would turn into such a moral debate? this issue is simply one of the considerations those who download CD's illegally must consider when doing so. Here is why it hurts artists when you burn CD's:

Much like any other business or financial institution the music business is simply out to make money. If a product is not making money, then that product is discontinued. If a particular product such as a children's toy has waned in popularity and young kids stop buying that toy, then the makers cease to invest in that particular model and a new and different product is introduced. But if the product is in high demand the company will pour more money into marketing and development, and future toys of that nature will be expounded upon and developed.

It is the same with the music business. If a band is selling records then the company is willing to pour money into that…

kant vs. plato; is there a universal morality?

touching on the topic of inherent right and wrong in the last post , the question now is posed; are we born with a moral law (or natural law) and why?
as far as we know civilizations on average, and as a whole, have all kept the same basic principles (or if i dare say) ‘morals’ in their society. though knowledge and information have excelled, and evolved, human nature has not. i believe we are born with these natural law’s intact, and have acknowledged them from the earliest cultures to the modern day world.

example of what i am referring to are extensive but here are a few:
do not murder
do not eat others of your own kind
do not run from battle
bravery is honorable, betrayal is not
protect yourself (self survival)
protect your family (survival of genetics)
etc.
(i understand that there are exceptions *cannibalism, etc. but even these are under certain rules and regulations established within the give community.)
on these principle’s can we concretely say that we have established as a hum…

the (il)legislation of morality.

recently i have been thinking a lot about the legislation of morality. meaning: how can any government (all inclusive) tell a human what he or she cannot do. i understand that laws are set up so that the society as a whole will survive.
for a survival instance: if the law of that particular government said that murder was not a crime and was socially acceptable, i question how long that society would last. not murdering could be understood to some as innate, in the sense that when you do something wrong no matter what upbringing, or culture, you were raised in one would feel 'guilty' or some sense of wrongdoing.
here is where i have the problem; because china's government is set up around an atheistic principled governmental system called communism it does not allow the free pursuit of a higher being or any other religious beliefs. now i am not saying religion is moral, but religion usually connotes a pursuit of morality in most case's.
but this is not simply a…

Cadence

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so. here i sit at my little coffee shop in winter haven, florida. the hurricane completely missed us except for a couple rainstorms, a little wind, and a lackluster sunset. needless to say as i was sitting here re-reading wendy shalit's "a return to modesty," (which i will dedicate an entire post to later) i received an email from my friends from in ohio.
this is one of the highest compliments and something i am very proud of. this is cadence, named after anberlin's song on blueprints for the blackmarket. his father runs shield and buckler skateboards, and i have had the privlidge of meeting him once before. i feel very honored to vicariously be apart of their lives for many many years to come.

acoustic show; gainsville, florida.

Stephen Christian acoustic w/
Louis DeFabrizio (the kick) and Anna Becker
10:30pm
Christian Study Center
Thursday, October 27th
www.christianstudycenter.org for directions
www.purevolume.com/stephenchristian

lorretalux.de

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lorreta lux, from germany, is by far my favorite photographer of all time. i first discovered her on a haphazard trip to the chicago museum of art. her pictures were in the far right corner, and could have easily been looked over. but the mint green and dark amber red's was burned on my brain forever. the children could either be from a fantasy make believe world, or your darkest nightmare. either way, lorreta lux is a photographer everyone needs to know about.

university of florida, oct. 26, 2005

i will be speaking @ an FCA meeting Wednesday October 26, 2005.
Wednesday night at 8:30pm, in Gainsville, FL.
For more information about UF FCA visit their website at
www.uffca.org.

direction's:
once you are @ the University of Florida campus:
You will come to the corner of campus at Gale-Lemerand Drive (formerly
North-South). Turn right – Ben Hill Griffin Stadium
will be on your left now, and the O’Connell Center on
your right. You can park in the O’Connell center
parking lot on the right. UF FCA is located in
Touchdown Terrace in the north endzone of the Stadium.
Walk to the front of the stadium facing University
Ave. Take the large winding ramp to the left of the
main entrance – this will lead you up to Touchdown
Terrace. There will be signs about to direct you.

the tragedy & learning the lesson

"It is the Law that any difficulties that can come to you at any time, no matter what they are, must be exactly what you need most at the moment, to enable you to take the next step forward by overcoming them. The only real misfortune, the only real tragedy, comes when we suffer without learning the lesson." -- Emmet Fox

from thoughts to destiny...

Sow a thought and you reap an action;
sow an act and you reap a habit;
sow a habit and you reap a character;
sow a character and you reap a destiny.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson,

the mouth speaks the overflow of the heart...

Hey Stephen.
I, myself, somewhat fall under the same category as you. I don't believe in
organized religion at all. I don't think you should put "one day" of the
week aside for church/praise/etc.
?'s
-Are you completely against using "curse" words altogether? People
(Christians) say it's a sin, and that I'll go to hell for dropping some
occasional f-bombs, but I disagree. They are just words, yes? They're not
even universal...like, if I went to Spain and started dropping f-bombs, they
wouldn't know what I was saying. It's just the English language that says
these are "bad" words. I don't think God changes the definition of "sin"
from country to country.

-Do you think that Christians are the most hypocritical of all religions?
Just a simple "yes" or "no" answer would be fine with me. I'm just asking,
because, a lot of them (most of the ones I hang out with, anyway) are bad
peop…

le ciel?

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over australia
7.28.05

because there's beauty in the breakdown.

"stephen,
personally, i hate organized religion, i was never baptized or had communion or been confirmed yet when I was younger I went to chruch every Sunday and my parents and grandparents are very religious and at a time in my life I really did want to get baptized but I think that is only because I was scared that I NEEDED a religion in my life, now I know you may disagree with a lot of the reasons why I don't like organized religion but I wish that you would not judge me for my beliefs because there is no way I would ever judge you for yours, I think too many people use religion as a way to get out of things, I know many people who can mess up so badly (cheat, lie, have premarital sex, not go to church, don't pray) yet they think that God will forgive them for everything if they just say they are sorry, to me that seems like bullshit, I just cant fathom the fact that you can do so many bad things in your life but you can be relieved of all of that if you confess, I…

modestyguild@gmail.com

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boston, mass.
10.10.04

AP article

i have had several questions about the interview that i did in the current issue of AP. here is the interview in its entirety.

1. What do you think has caused the resurgence of Christian bands in the punk/indie scene?
a "resurgence" would presuppose that there was a Christian indie scene to begin with some time ago. i don't see this as a resurgence as much as i see it to be an integration. the cause is due to the fact that in the past Christian music has been a imitation of anything that was happening in the general market. if boy bands were on the billboard charts then the christian industry would wait a couple year‚'s then sign their own boy band. when creed was cool (well ok so they were never cool), let me rephrase; when creed was selling records the Christian market waited a couple years then signed every creed rip off band that replaced the word "baby" for the word "Jesus."and this is where "the cause" comes into play. finally we i…

lowercasepeople.com

please check out lowercasepeople.com
it deals with some amazing issues that faces all young people.
from art to music, all the articles are profound.
my favorite section, however, is the justice page which
deals with some relevant topics that sets out to help make
a difference in this world.
lowercasepeople.com

abstain from regret's

'Stephen,
            I hope I'm not intruding by writing this email, but after reading your post for September 8 I decided I was going to write you on this. This is something that has been on my mind for quite some time now. Well in the religion of Christianity, you are not supposed to believe in premarital sex, and I am brought up to be Christian and it is everything I believe in. I admit I have not taken the time to read the bible. I do not understand it. Since I am young, it’s hard to understand. But what I am trying to get at is I don’t understand how premarital sex is bad as long as you are in love with your partner and he/she loves you back. Being at my age, you get so much pressure to do things that you are not ready for. People will call you a “prude” and if you are a “prude” a lot of people will not like you. And the bad thing is, I AM what people call “a prude” because I have not really done anything. Sometimes I feel ok about that and other times I feel like there i…

acomplished.

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sigur ros

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one of my favorite bands of all time has come out with an amazing album entitled "takk". imagine going to a museum of modern art and meeting God for the first time all in the same moment. yes. that is what this album is like. for sure.

manchester, england

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here i sit in cafe nero in manchester, england. what a dream come true. i don't know how many of you know or care but i am the biggest smiths fan in the world (well not the world but, that i know). morrissey (stephen patrick morrissey) was born and raised right around here, and his mother still lives right behind the all girls school right down the road.
"meet me at the cemetery gates" was a line written about the south cemetery here in the city.
but for me the big event is on coronation street, the salford lads club. i have to take a taxi but i WILL get a picture in front of it today!
last night was so surreal, wondering the streets of london, england alone. this is something i have wanted to do for about 10 years now. i felt like i had stepped into a surreal movie, one i never wanted to get out of. the air was a bit cold but walking through the gardens @ buckingham palace was a memory i wanted to contain in a capsule and show the world. i don't know how life could …

the promise

my friend kyscho helped me put this together.
'the promise' is now up on purevolume.com/stephenchristian
i hope you like it.

produced by kyscho@hotmail.com

of broken halo's; a letter from beloved.

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"I'm only a glimmer of the girl you think you know. I've fallen from grace quicker than newton's apple fell from the tree. Like it, I did not fall far, but I fell quick, and hard.
What happened? Where did my innocence go, or was it only feigned all along? In the last four months I've gone from angelic grace to a furious decadence. I imagine my flowery prose is making this all sound much worse than it is, though. It seems normal for 'kids' to be drinking, smoking, and having sex by this age. I guess I still pale in comparison to the general population, I just feel like I've let myself down.
I drank, not a lot, but my intent was to get drunk. I partied a few times this summer. I had a casual relationship with a dear friend, and fortunately our close friendship survived the trauma.
'The bottle holds no answers, her lips can only sway ... desire is close at hand, his lips can only sway ... there's more to life than this, don't give your se…

STop LOok LISTEN!

it baffles me to no end how people are so quick to speak out of their own unintelligence, acknowledging to the entire world that they are mere fools. if i do not know about a certain topic i am quick to concede my ignorance and ask several questions in hopes i can learn more.
for instance.
i recently was talking with someone at Joe’s coffee (which is located on 5th ave and 13th street in new york city) about the relationship between the Chinese government and the United States. although i want there to be a positive relationship between the two biggest superpowers in the world certain things seem to be standing in the way.
my friend, we will call him/her dr. e thought that regardless of how we perceive the communist Chinese government we must accept them and their economic stipulations and basically give them what they want, because they are equals.
though i was not arguing whether or not we as humans were equals i did argue that they weren’t playing fair in the world spectrum. i bro…

dostoevsky

Beauty is not only a terrible thing,
it is also a mysterious thing.
There God and the Devil strive for mastery,
and the battleground is the heart of men.
Dostoevsky
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it is time to finally wake the dead,
though sleepers rest in guilty bed's.
with eyes awake they fall asleep,
their hearts doth toil, avoiding passions ill defeat.

what's become of this called modesty?
who killed what they thought they could not keep?
as if love bought into could not be sold,
we burn the book's before the stories unfold.

who burdened this thing to the daughter's of eve,
to pursue such things that one can not see?
for long hard years their lives revolve,
like a minor chord which seems nor to resolve.

i must admit i am as guilty as they,
to this matter i have been a hard working slave.
for in the beginning it is as a dear friend,
but strike's like slow moving venom quite near the end.

wake o sleeper from shallow of graves,
though you part the memories will remain.
try as you will for you shall never escape,
love in its splendor;
and death in it's heartbreak.


-7.27.05

the orphaned anything's

"when walking downtown here this evening, i intermittently look around at all these people with their armani suits, and the women with there channel handbags and matching scarves and wonder why they were so lucky to be born with everything figured out. they just look like they know what they are doing. if they have any insecurities at all it has been masked by there flawless makeup smiles and grappling, prestigious, and manly hand shakes. how do they get their teeth so white, how did they get success as a genetic predisposition, have they read some timeworn text that i have not yet ascertained? did they figure out who moved the cheese and why and did they get it back?
they look so... found.
and i feel so...opposite.
does money make one gratified? have i missed my calling? we have all heard the saying that money doesn't make a person happy but @ this point in life i have no money and i am not happy.im totally willing to try the whole rich thing. i could be guineane pig to prov…

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start a journal. stop smoking for good. write the screen play you promised yourself you would always write. take singing lessons, please. lose 10 pounds. gain 10 pounds in muscle. listen to a new type of music. read about another religion. book that ticket. don’’t call your x. stop looking for mr. right. start becoming mrs. right. start painting, start with your room. take a black and white photo. walk don’t drive next time. look around while walking.start a journal. try a different drink next time, it might be your new favorite. give the homeless man more than your money, give him a conversation. see something beautiful in chaos. see something beautiful in yourself. see something beautiful in both at the same time. call your family, yes all of them. enjoy the sunshine, even though your sweating. write a mission statement. write 10 places you want to see before you die. go to 20. talk to yourself. talk to God. really talk to someone you have never talked to before, even if youv’e had …

lets find out if this world is endless...

"I would rather live in a world where my life is surrounded by mystery than live in a world so small that my mind could comprehend it."
‚ Henry Emerson Fosdick
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my friend josh tillman is also one of the most refreshing musicians i have ever had the pleasure of listening to. i think when you hear him you will agree.

you can listen and order his new CD from his site jtillmanmusic.com
do yourself a huge favor and check his stuff out.

Please help. Give. be broken.

Please get involved.
this dear women has given her life to help orphans in Tanzania. She would love anyone to volunteer and go to Tanzania to help. If you cannot take the time off please send your prayers or thoughts. @ very minimum please email her and tell her thanks for making a difference in this world. Her email address is: lynnkaziahelliott@hotmail.com
this is a letter she wrote me updating me on her life. Just read her heart below.

Hello Stephen,
Greetings from Moshi in Tanzania on a very hot day! Thank you so much for your word of encouragement, the team appreciates it very much, when their work is recognized... My family and I serve freely, and we try to answer every desperate cry for help... As you will have probably seen on our mission statement, we do not ask for any funding - although - sometimes our need is great, we just wait for hearts to be inspired to send us a donation so we can help more children and more of the unsupported people in the bush..... Each week, we are…

dont go back to sleep

The breeze at dawn has secrets to tell you.
Don't go back to sleep.
You must ask for what you really want.
Don't go back to sleep.
People are going back and forth across the doorsill where two worlds touch. The round door is open.
Don't go back to sleep.
-Djalal ad Din Rumi

postsecret.com

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ok 2 different people told me about postsecret.com and it is now my favorite site on the web!
people send in postcards that mirror their darkest secret, and announce it to the world anonymously.
i think a lot of things i can see in myself. and i think i love it so much because i almost feel normal.

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stephen christian
brisban, australia
the paper girl
7.05

a site that reflects my thought pattern

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random
http://www.foundmagazine.com/
it is just random things found across the world
know any other random sites?
-estaban

no one alive will ever see this again.mars. august 27. 05

MARS
from: astronomy magazine.

The Red Planet is about to be spectacular! This month and next, Earth is catching up with Mars in an encounter that will culminate in the closest approach between the two planets in recorded history. The next time Mars may come this close is in 2287.

Due to the way Jupiter's gravity tugs on Mars and perturbs its orbit, astronomers can only be certain that Mars has not come this close to Earth in the last 5,000 years, but it may be as long as 60,000 years before it happens again.

The encounter will culminate on August 27th when Mars comes to within 34,649,589 miles of Earth and will be (next to the moon) the brightest object in the night sky. Mars will look as large as the full moon to the naked eye. Mars will be easy to spot. At the beginning of August it will rise in the east at 10p.m. and reach its azimuth at about 3 a.m. By the end of August when the two planets are closest, Mars will
rise at nightfall and reach its h…

money & the elusive sleep

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well its 3:30am and i cant seem to feel tired. jet leg set in, and i guess i have no reason to feel tired since i slept in till 5pm.
the topic of money is so, well im ignorant to the facts of money. me talking about it is like me trying to tell a person how to maintain a marriage. i have never been in a marriage so i couldn't tell you, and i have never had money so i don't really know what it feels like. what i can tell you is that while i have no financial merit i do consider myself very wealthy. i have a beautiful life, wonderful friends, and gas enough to get the local coffee shop. one of my closest friends, however, has a lot of money, but they are more concerned about hoarding it then they are about spending it. i think life is all about making memories, not getting a rush from a once a month bank statement. i read somewhere that while americans are rich in money they are poor on time, and just coming back from australia i saw it for myself. in australia even though the ma…

'you inspired me...'

i received this this morning. 
‘I've actually always had numerous thoughts run through my head and had trouble getting them out. You inspired me quite some time ago, but its just now hitting me and I'm just now getting around to writing again...for that I thank you Stephen!’
Unexpected Rhapsody
 It's quite lengthy, but I had a lot on my mind. Thanks again, but I think its time for sleep.”
 -kris

i did not post this on modesty to congratulate myself on inspiring, for hopefully that is what each one of us do every day. but i posted it because first off this is a great blogspot, she is very well thought out, and openhearted. and second of all because i hope she inspires you to write out your feelings and be transparent. each of you has the ability to teach someone else something worthwhile. each one of you has a different passion that i myself could learn from.

in the book “blue like jazz” don miller in the intro said when speaking about jazz, ‘sometimes you have to watch somebody …

immitation

"Insist on yourself; never imitate. Your own gift you can present every moment with the cumulative force of a whole life's cultivation; but of the adopted talent of another you have only an extemporaneous half possession."
-Ralph Waldo Emerson.

circle circle circle circle etc.

I've been thinking a lot about the entire circumference of life. birth life death. everything in between.
we all go threw all the cycles. take it for granted in the begining. appreciate it only when were nearing the end.
for example.
the other day in the airport leaving NYC i saw an old man who just saw his 12-14 year old grandfather for the first time in what appeared to be a great while.
the grandfather was near tears to see how big the young man had grown. the kid just stood there numb to the entire situation; but the grandfather grabbed him by the face and kissed both cheeks.

i remember being that kid. everytime my grandparents would try to hug/show affection i would back away. make it as quick as possible. i thought they were wrinkled and well... old.
but then i realized that not only do i remember being that kid, but i will be that old wrinkled man one day. i will be overwhelmed @ the sight of my grandchildren. i will love them unconditionally. i will want to kiss both of the side…

think global.

"A true revolution of values will soon cause us to question the fairness and justice of many of our past and present policies. A revolution of values will soon look uneasily on the glaring contrast between poverty and wealth. With righteous indignation, it will look across the seas and see individual capitalists in the West investing huge sums of money in Asia, Africa, and South America only to take profits out with no concern for the social betterment of the countries, and say: 'This is not just.'"
- Martin Luther King Jr.

clarification.

there are things in life that baffle me. aerodynamics, thermodynamics, love, chemistry, trigonometry, etc. but lately the most baffling concept to me is bands who think that they deserve to be in the spotlight and don't appreciate the fan's that put them there. i know my place, when people come to show's i am there for them, they did not come to see me. i am nothing more than an entertainer and am no more important than any of the people that i perform for. i wanted to say thank you for those who have come to see anberlin; i appreciate every song you have sung along with, every clap of your hands, every moment of your life you have shared with us, and every picture you have allowed me to take with you. i am sorry if i have ever acted like a rockstar to anyone, i would have never intentionally done that to anyone, but everyone makes mistakes. please give me another chance. please don't think you are bothering me when you get on stage and sing along, come ask me for my s…

brunderhof on the wilderness of solitude

It is not physical solitude that actually separates one from others; not physical isolation, but spiritual isolation. It is not the desert island nor the stony wilderness that cuts you from the people you love. It is the wilderness in the mind, the desert wastes in the heart through which one wanders lost and a stranger. When one is a stranger to oneself then one is estranged from others too. If one is out of touch with oneself, then one cannot touch others. How often in a large city, shaking hands with my friends, I have felt the wilderness stretching between us. Both of us were wandering in arid wastes, having lost the springs that nourished us - or having found them dry. Only when one is connected to one's own core is one connected to others, I am beginning to discover. And, for me, the core, the inner spring, can best be refound through solitude.

if only "lost" were a place i would be rich off roadmaps...

the human heart is the most confusing vessel in the human makeup. who knows where it leads or why it leads, or at what speed it can be led. why is it when everything seems so right it has the capibility to be so very wrong. if life had a roadmap it would be so easy, but yet so boring. if we knew the future what is there for risk, for adventure, in fear, in love, in destiny and fate. but at points i would trade it all in so that i could never hurt anyone again. so that i didn't question, i just knew.

appreciate what you have

The World in Perspective:

If we could shrink the earth's population to a village of precisely 100 people, with all the existing human ratios remaining the same, it would look something like the following.
There would be:
57 Asians
21 Europeans
14 from the Western Hemisphere, both North and South America
8 Africans
52 would be female
48 would be male
70 would be non-white
30 would be white
70 would be non-Christian
30 would be Christian
89 would be heterosexual
11 would be homosexual
6 people would possess 59% of the entire world's wealth;
all 6 would be from the United States.
80 would live in substandard housing
70 would be unable to read
50 would suffer from malnutrition
1 would be near death; 1 would be near birth
1 (yes, only 1) would have a college education
1 would own a computer
When one considers our world from such a compressed perspective, the need fro acceptance, understanding and education becomes glaringly apparent.

The following is also something to ponder...
If…

dont let this be Rwanda part two... get involved!

if you havent seen hotel ruwanda please go buy it. it will convict your lives forever. it took the lives of millions of people in 1994 and still the violence has not ceased. it is happening again in dafar, help make other people aware of the problem, than get involved. write your local senetors and congressman/congresswomen and tell them that america needs to step in and prevent the deaths of innocent people.
please please please get involved! below is one way to help.
-stephen christian

National day of action on Darfur
Since the Darfur genocide began in 2003, up to 400,000 people have lost their lives. More than 2.5 million people have been displaced, their livelihoods and villages destroyed by government forces and their proxy militias, and thousands of women and girls have been raped.
The religious community in the United States has the power to help end the genocide and quell the humanitarian crisis that has come in its wake. Now is the time to make our voices heard.
Sojourners, in part…

blue like jazz

I don't think I have done a book review since middle school, and i am not claiming that this is one, a jejune attempt at best.
i have currently been reading a book by donald miller called "blue like jazz." ’ i cant tell you how many times i thought this guy had stolen my life story to paste into his own book. every other page was filled with amazement, as i felt i was the only one who had been through/thought about what he has. blatantlytly honest, mr. miller tells what people really think instead of what people really say. someone once said "‘the true test of a mans character is what he does when no one is watching," ’ well don miller wrote word for word what one thinks when no one is listening.

anyone have any other books they recommend?

a humbled thank you/ acoustic stuff

thank you to everyone who has kept up, commented, and talked to others about modesty. because of modesty i have been asked to write a alternating-monthly column for lowercasepeople.com (a website that will be coming very soon!) based out of san diego, california! so thank you, thank you, thank you!
also sorry it took so long to get this up on the net
i want to record more soon, but these were done for $25 in a studio in texas.
purevolume.com/stephenchristian
thanks,
stephen

final thoughts on final moments

we may not know when or how we will die, but what we do know is the what. what are we going to do with the time we have. i read through the comments and am amazed that such intelligence still exists, people who think for themselves and are not afraid to state what they think and believe.
a person wrote that because someone is Christian they don’t fear death, which from my experience is untrue. everyone subconsciously seeks immortality (the fountain of youth, vampires, etc.) and it is only human to try to hold on to the short life we do have. like i touched on in the first respose to shane, though i have a Greater Hope i am afraid of what i don't know in death i am terrified of getting old. i am scared of not being able to take care of myself, of having to be fed, and living because a machine helps me. as issac asimov said “Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome.” i would rather pass away to the unknown than to stay here on this earth …

Plato on Death

'To fear death, gentlemen, is no other than to think oneself wise when one is not, to think one knows what one does not know. No one knows whether death may not be the greatest of all blessings for a man, yet men fear it as if they knew that is is the greatest of evils. And surely it is the most blameworthy ignorance to believe that one knows what one does not know.'
-Plato (the apology)

the final journey; afterlife

'stephen
I guess I'd like to know what your opinion is on an issue that, for as
long as I can remember, has been a big struggle for me. Do you think about
dying, and if so, how do you cope with the fact? I have no idea why, I've
been fortunate to not have to witness much death in my life, but ever
since I was a young child I've been haunted by the thought that I will
eventually die. My dad used to encourage church, but I had some bad
experiences and disagreements with church, and have never gone to church
routinely. When I think about dying, I think about myself not existing, I
think about it all being over. I can't really conceive it, so I don't
think I can explain it well either. I find myself staying up at night
distracting myself from wandering thoughts by watching tv or reading
books, but sometimes the thought just gets to me, and when it does it has
this snowball effect that leads me to this state of panic and fear.

I've never read the Bible, which is my own fault,…

i shall not fear?

why is this world resound with so much bitterness? do we as americans really have it that bad? why do people emphasize the negative or pessimistic outlook of this one chance life rather than the good. maybe im naive, maybe this world is truly out to get me and everyone is born a criminal. dark alley's look to me as great opportunities for a black and white photo, not a noun i must avoid in fear.
i am reminded of a song that would not make it on the radio in our current state of unrest. it was by a man named louis armstrong, who did not know the same respect and freedoms as his musical counterparts today. instead of writing about oppression or racism he sang a song called "(what)a wonderful world". listening to the radio you would think hate and violence governs entire genres (see nu-metal and rap).
i choose to believe the best in people.

my mother once told me a story of two young boys which set me on my path for optimism. the boys were between the ages of 10 and 12. the …

movie suggestion

i dont usually give movie recomendations but i could not pass up this opportunity.
i was fortunate to see a wonderful movie this past week that really inspired me, it was called the motorcycle diaries (http://www.motorcyclediariesmovie.com). im sure everyone has seen it and i just missed the boat, but in case you have a spare moment rent it and tell me what you think. (sorry about the cursing, but just cover your eyes).

couldn't have explained it better myself.

"Does Lewis or Tolkien mention Christ in any of their fictional series?

Are Bach's sonata's Christian?

What is more Christ-like, feeding the poor, making furniture, cleaning bathrooms, or painting a sunset?

There is a schism between the sacred and the secular in all of our modern minds. The view that a pastor is more “Christian” than a girls volleyball coach is flawed and heretical. The stance that a worship leader is more spiritual than a janitor is condescending and flawed. These different callings and purposes further demonstrate God’s sovereignty. Many songs are worthy of being written. Switchfoot will write some, Keith Green, Bach, and perhaps yourself have written others. Some of these songs are about redemption, others about the sunrise, others about nothing in particular: written for the simple joy of music. None of these songs has been born again, and to that end there is no such thing as Christian music.

No. Christ didn’t come and die for my songs, he came for m…

you will never live if...

You will never be happy if you continue to search for what happiness consists of. You will never live if you are looking for the meaning of life.
-Albert Camus

the feeling of "LOST."

My name is C UC and I am probably more confused right now than I have ever been. I found your blog site through your myspace, and I hope I'm not intruding...don't worry this will probably be my only email, and i don't expect you to respond or even read the entire message. I have read your blogs and it is quite apparent that you are an incredibly kind-hearted humanitarian, which is one reason why I feel compelled to email you at 2 am as I cry in my apartment in UC Santa Cruz. Another reason is that I need to somehow share my feelings with someone I don't know, and I trust you.

Typically I share anything and everything with everyone, but lately I have been feeling utterly lost. I have wonderful friends and family...but I just can't. Tonight I can't seem to stop crying, and I am starting to worry about how I'm going to get out of this mindset. All of my life I have had goals: go to grade school, go to jr high, go to high school, go to a university, live i…