Tuesday, November 16, 2004

what is this concept called "home"?

what is the concept of home, for me i found it fleeting. living a life on the road has left me wanting for a place of my very own. i dont have room or space to call my own.
"we wanderers, ever seeking the lonlier way, begin no day where we have ended another day; and no sunrise finds us where sunset left us."
-kahlil gibran
the prophet
in the movie the garden state i enjoyed the conversation in the pool because i felt there was some sense of truth about it. the fact is maybe we are searching out someone else to create the sense of home we so long for from our youth. why do we try so hard to grow up only to grow up and desire the responsibility (or lack there of) when we were adolecents.
life, like love, is a constant contridiction.

maybe that is why people stay in their hometowns. its not a crab hole like we had once presumed, people move back not because they feel that they can do no better, but because they are trying to regain something that is forever lost.
a sense of home.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

we were made to wander, estaban. the earthly find homes with whomever their hearts lie, wherever that may be, but it's fleeting. we have no homes here -- they're being built as we speak.

Anonymous said...

yeah...i agree with the previous comment,but I have to add that I've had some of those same thoughts myself--having to move twice a year in college into all different res halls and houses. i cried the summer after i graduated b/c i just wanted to settle in somewhere. I just wanted roots. I don't at all mind traveling the world and i'm going to, but i think I wanted roots. I think thats what we want. All the stuff that I own--I could take it or leave it. Its not about material things and wanting a house or someplace cool to live. Its about wanting to find a place to rest. I have found that rest as I lay my head on the chest of my savior. However, he gave me a place to lay my head here, too. I have friends who rent from me and I can come and go as I please. Maybe you should buy a place that has three or four apartments in it and you can live in one of them. Then whoever rents from you can pay for your mortgage and you can come and go as you please. You'll still have a place, but you won't feel like its a waste to have a place if you're not there all the time b/c you'll be helping other people and they'll be helping you (financially). It's a good investment anyway! ;-) I'm glad you're feeling the way you feel. I think that means you're about to find what you're looking for. By the way, I'm not trying to simplify this longing for rest by saying the answer is to buy a house. That is only a physical place to rest! Human longings go deeper than that.
When I bought the house, then I cried b/c I realized I was buying a house alone! Relationships are also a place where we can lay our head and rest. No pretending. No having to put on an act. Just a place to settle in and rest. Which leads us back to commenter #1's good point. Ultimately we find our comfort and rest in Christ. The longing for home and a place to rest and completely be ourselves is a manifestation of a greater need. :-) ~SW

laurafee said...

agreed... college is like this as well. you do not feel like your college is your home, yet you spend so little time at your actual home that it no longer feels like home either. you feel as though you do not belong anywhere... it was a strange and wonderful experience.