Tuesday, July 19, 2005

'you inspired me...'

i received this this morning. 
‘I've actually always had numerous thoughts run through my head and had trouble getting them out. You inspired me quite some time ago, but its just now hitting me and I'm just now getting around to writing again...for that I thank you Stephen!’
Unexpected Rhapsody
 It's quite lengthy, but I had a lot on my mind. Thanks again, but I think its time for sleep.”
 -kris

i did not post this on modesty to congratulate myself on inspiring, for hopefully that is what each one of us do every day. but i posted it because first off this is a great blogspot, she is very well thought out, and openhearted. and second of all because i hope she inspires you to write out your feelings and be transparent. each of you has the ability to teach someone else something worthwhile. each one of you has a different passion that i myself could learn from.

in the book “blue like jazz” don miller in the intro said when speaking about jazz, ‘sometimes you have to watch somebody love something before you can love it yourself. it is as if they are showing you the way.’

show us all the way with your passions, goals and dreams. inspire someone. start writing a journal so you can inspire your children’s, children’s. start an online journal. let us watch you love something, so we can to.

'Better to write for yourself and have no public, than to write for the public and have no self.'
-Cyril Connolly (1903 - 1974)

Sunday, July 17, 2005

immitation

"Insist on yourself; never imitate. Your own gift you can present every moment with the cumulative force of a whole life's cultivation; but of the adopted talent of another you have only an extemporaneous half possession."
-Ralph Waldo Emerson.

circle circle circle circle etc.

I've been thinking a lot about the entire circumference of life. birth life death. everything in between.
we all go threw all the cycles. take it for granted in the begining. appreciate it only when were nearing the end.
for example.
the other day in the airport leaving NYC i saw an old man who just saw his 12-14 year old grandfather for the first time in what appeared to be a great while.
the grandfather was near tears to see how big the young man had grown. the kid just stood there numb to the entire situation; but the grandfather grabbed him by the face and kissed both cheeks.

i remember being that kid. everytime my grandparents would try to hug/show affection i would back away. make it as quick as possible. i thought they were wrinkled and well... old.
but then i realized that not only do i remember being that kid, but i will be that old wrinkled man one day. i will be overwhelmed @ the sight of my grandchildren. i will love them unconditionally. i will want to kiss both of the sides of their face. i will pretend to put a brick on their head, and say "we should put a brick on your head so you stop growing," just like my grandfather did. my grandchildren won't get my humor, they will give me a courtesy laugh and head for my refrigerator, just like i did.
but my grand kids will be wrinkled one day, and want to kiss both sides of their grandchildrens face. and thus the circumference will continue.
everything is so new to us because were young. we don't realize that generation upon generations have gone before us, been young and stupid, grew grey and wise, and forgot to tell us how confusing life could be, i think that is why i have such a fascination with coming of age books. because i don't feel so awkward when i realize i'm not the only one amateur in this world.

'to be conscious that you are ignorant of the facts is a great step to knowledge'
-benjamen disraeli

the older i get the more of a complete fool i realize i have always been and still am.
-estaban

Friday, July 01, 2005

think global.

"A true revolution of values will soon cause us to question the fairness and justice of many of our past and present policies. A revolution of values will soon look uneasily on the glaring contrast between poverty and wealth. With righteous indignation, it will look across the seas and see individual capitalists in the West investing huge sums of money in Asia, Africa, and South America only to take profits out with no concern for the social betterment of the countries, and say: 'This is not just.'"
- Martin Luther King Jr.

clarification.

there are things in life that baffle me. aerodynamics, thermodynamics, love, chemistry, trigonometry, etc. but lately the most baffling concept to me is bands who think that they deserve to be in the spotlight and don't appreciate the fan's that put them there. i know my place, when people come to show's i am there for them, they did not come to see me. i am nothing more than an entertainer and am no more important than any of the people that i perform for. i wanted to say thank you for those who have come to see anberlin; i appreciate every song you have sung along with, every clap of your hands, every moment of your life you have shared with us, and every picture you have allowed me to take with you. i am sorry if i have ever acted like a rockstar to anyone, i would have never intentionally done that to anyone, but everyone makes mistakes. please give me another chance. please don't think you are bothering me when you get on stage and sing along, come ask me for my signiture in a restaurant, or tell me a story of how my music has related to a situation in my life.
i was watching a smith's DVD and one of the coolest things ever is when some people in the crowd fought there way on to stage just to hug morrissey, i thought that was the greatest thing i had ever seen. they weren't getting up on stage to show off or jump off, they were up there just to show the band how appreciative they were of the bands music. i'm so down with that, so if ever you feel the need to jump on stage just grab me, i'll never be mad.
i am on stage because of you.
much in your debt,
-estaban