Thursday, October 30, 2003

What is society that I must follow its “imaginary hand” rules?

I am presently reading a book that my younger sister and brother asked me to read called “The Giver,” written by Lois Lowry. It reminds of a young Huxley before “A Brave New World.” The story is fundamentally the same. A utopian society, bothered by a riff of mis-intelligence, someone catches on, must suffer through pain due to truth. The whole story is told in order that one might question themselves as to why they follow rules established by the civil “norm”.
Don’t think this applies to you? Well it does. Have you ever wanted to follow the career choice that you think would fit you best and then looked at how much they make and decided against it? Ever known that you didn’t want to go to college but to please your parents or those around you, you went? Do you feel pressure to graduate high school by at least 18, college by no later than 23, married by 25, kids by 28, etc. etc. That my friend is the invisible hand of society pressuring you to keep up with those around you, and I must tell you in advance it is futile.
I say screw the system, do what you think is best. Ever heard the saying “keeping up with the Jones’s”? Well the Jones’s are over their head in debt, their marriage is disintegrating, and the kids are being taught that material possessions supersede happiness in inter-personal relationships (and they will soon become apart of this cycle when they grow up!)
One of the biggest accomplishments of my life is helping my friend Amanda realize that the only reason she was in dentistry is because of the paycheck, she wasn’t happy about what she was doing for the rest of her life but she thought she could sacrifice that for a Luxury Sports 4x4 car and a white picket fence. After our multiple discussions she dropped out of dentistry school and is now going to the University of Florida and majoring in stain glass art, something she has loved to do her entire life.
Realize that it is not the size of your bank account that will hold you close on your death bed, it is those you love, the friends you have made, and the memories of a fulfilled and happy life that will make these days complete.

Need more to read on this topic? Read “Veronica decides to die,” by Paulo Coelho.
Please feel to write me with your philosophy, musical tastes, psychological analysis, or other areas of expertise. i will post anything if its worth relaying.

Wednesday, October 29, 2003

"dear stephen
in reply to your last entry, I think everybody at some point in their brief speck of time on earth wishes they can go
back to when the only problem they had was eating all their peas so they could have
dessert. Unfortunately, in our ever-changing world things come and go, everybody
knows it hurts to grow up. Reading your posts have made me think about some of the
actions and experiences I have encounterd in my life in a new light. I miss
childhood, but I always remind myself what I have lost in innocence Ive gained in
Freedom to try something different, Freedom to achieve something, Freedom to fail,
Freedom to lose it all, Freedom to rise from the ashes of failure, and freedom to
think about what is real and forever rather than some passing fad.

good point * but the problem philosophically here is that we as children never knew of such freedom, therefore never missed it. its like asking a person in tribe in africa if they ever crave mcdonalds or wish they could wear prada. well they have probably never been exposed to mcdonalds or prada and don't even know what it is, therefore they probably don't crave it or miss it. but your right if God placed me back in my body with the mental capacity and knowledge i have right this second i would be a miserable 12 year old knowing i am soon to face high school, the most unstimulating (which is actually not a word) time of my entire life. im rushed for time but you get the point of what im trying to say...

Monday, October 27, 2003

I feel lost sometimes, as if the world is going on around me and im watching it from afar. I want to go back and push pause on the videotape of my life at age 12. when the most we had to worry about was what time mom would call us in, and NOT money, fame, power, greed, sex, politics, or religion. life was carefree. a cardboard box could be a plane, boat, or spaceship. now a cardboard box is used as something to pack past memories in or just another convenient trash receptacle. my brother was my best friend ever, and now we struggle to speak once every other week. he has a child, who will one day love cardboard boxes im sure.

someone asked me today my thoughts of what heaven is going to be like, and I went into some pseudo-religious, quasi-intelligent, brilliantly-shallow, explanation on the going-ons of the life after.... but in retrospect I wish I would have said I want heaven to be nothing more than life as an eternal 12 year old, with a never ending supply of refrigerator boxes, and my brother paul.

Friday, October 24, 2003

well let me start out with an apology, i have not seen a computer in quite some time. therefore have not had a chance to write to you, but thanks so much for all the emails. im sitting here in new york city, at the murray hill theatre recovering from a late night (early morning) and a most interesting taxi ride home. i saw several bands that i had been interested in seeing for some time (my chemical romance, death by murder, tora tora torance). tonight is the highlight, mars volta (in my opinion the pink floyd of the 2000's.

current music im listening to: (no paticular order)

!. cursive (ugly organ) *saddle creek records- its like the cure+238 x emo from omaha=cursive

2. mars volta-deloused in the comatorium- think at the drive in - sparta= mars

3. radiohead- hail to the thief * could have been the album before kid a and after ok, songs 1,6,13, and 14 are going on their greatest hits album.

4. damien rice- o * rebirth of folk. poetry as lyrics, amazing album

5. frou frou- self titled? underground brit-techno; think orbital meets bjork and cranberries.

6. over the rhine-ohio *female folk with more amazing lyrics, think angela griner meets o brother where out though= ohio

7. saves the day- in revverie. chris must have listend to a couple beach boy albums. smoking popes meets a lazy beatle. not their best album but still great vocal melody lines.

8. circle of birds (burnt toast vinyl) instrumental music that inspires reverence. i discovered these guys on vinyl in seatle, through josh from saxon shore (another burnt toast amazing band).

9.DEATH CAB FOR CUTIE- TRANSATLANTICISM. amazing. amazing. amazing. thier best in my opinion since "the votes are in" song #7 is on the soundtrack of my life.

10. Interpol- turn on the bright lights NY garage rock. think inteligent strokes... but dark.

Thursday, October 02, 2003

Hi. I've never really sent an e-mail like this, but I know I like to know when I do
something good for someone else and I imagine you're the same. I just wanted you
to know that your music always helps me alot. I can almost always relate to your
lyrics and after a hard day nothing makes me feel better than to get in my car,
listen to good music, and know I'm not the only one in the world that feels that
way. I was at the show you played with My Hotel Year about a week ago. That's what
urged me to write. I just wanted you to know that your music means something to at
least someone.

dear @,
thanks so much for this email, im glad that someone can not only relate but be affected by something that i created.