if only i had a timemachine
there is so much i want to say, but a lot i don’t because in life sometimes you have to learn the lessons the hard way. people can try to teach you, and beg you to change, and hope for the best but at the end of the day you have to learn the lesson.
you are absorbed with the opposite sex, but honestly you are not going to end up with any of them, actually you will lose track of everyone you have known from this era of your life except for a few people… and those were your guy friends. instead of trying to hang out with the opposite sex all the time why don’t you concentrate on developing meaningful long term friendships. trust me there is no point to attempt anything else.
popularity is the most pointless pursuit you could ever honestly strive for in your whole life. you are going to look back at these days with near disgust thinking of the clothes you wore, the clubs you joined, or didn’t join, the people you hung out with, or left behind, all in attempts to do what? popularity dissipates as soon as you throw your hat in the air at graduation. it vanishes within mere seconds. like aforementioned you will NEVER see these people again, a year after you graduate you will be off to college and perhaps see one person from your old school walking the opposite direction on campus. you won’t even say a word, just nod. do me a favor and wear a pink boa and sunglasses to school. rid yourself of caring what other people think. you are not your status.
do you remember all those nights where you spent with your family and you wished you were out doing anything but? guess what, now you wish you could go back in time and spend one more weekend night eating pizza and watching a movie with them. popularity is extinct, the friends you knew then have moved on, the ‘cool’ places you hung out at closed down, and all you have now is your family. never ever take them for granted. actually… spend more time getting to know them individually. they all turn out to be amazing people. and don’t take for granted your grandparents, your really really going to miss them after they are gone.
confidence. you have none. and i don’t know how to teach it to you through a letter. why not is all i am saying. why not try things you have never tried. why not go places you have never gone. why not just say yes. why not stay up all night. why not just walk up to them and introduce yourself. why not learn to play the guitar better (hint hint), just try it.
this world is small, trust me, it is so very small. new york city rests in the palm of your hand, los angeles, the ends of the earth, all of it is obtainable. don’t be intimidated by what you can’t see because honestly, the opportunities are endless. just go. just do. if you want to move anywhere you can make it. get rid of your small town mindset as soon as possible. you are not trapped, you are not bound to any one town.
you are not bound by your grades. don’t think you’re a failure because your report card indicates it so, who can test creativity? who can put a grade on ambition? your smart enough, and with enough perseverance you can make it to grad school if you wanted. all in due time.
your future self, stephen