Thursday, April 14, 2011

our ever crumbling little empire.

you have no idea, then again i can't say i have much of an idea as well. we believe because we can look at it from the outside and watch your glass world crumble and know exactly what we would do in that situation because, well, were not in it. we are all so quick to judge on other peoples little empires.



i once saw an article on a politicians wife who decided to stay with him even though he had cheated on her and the scandal became public. she stayed with him out of love and with the willingness to forgive this atrocious behavior deep into a vow. and yet the comments that followed the article were perhaps worse than the acts committed. the people ripped her up, calling her weak, and not a real woman. how many of these people have walked in her shoes, had the years of committed relationship, or knew all the details. but because we sit perched high above it is so easy to summarize her life and feel we know best as for what she should do next for her and her children.

i do it to. when i see a homeless person i always want to know how they got there, what decisions did they make to end up there, if any. i assume that it had to do with a drinking or drug problem, and i look down at them and say 'well just quit!'. but i have never done heroin, and have no idea the death grip that it has on its subjects. i don't know there background, i don't know what mental capabilities they may or may not possess. it is so much easier to say 'get a job' then 'let me help you find one'.

next time you silently stare and assume, judge, and pass a verdict on another human take a second to create a backstory in your head. were they abused? perhaps that is one of the many reasons they ended up selling themselves on the side of the road. are they drunk out of their mind again tonight? perhaps there was a massive family tragedy in their lives and that is their only coping mechanism. instead of declaring them all helpless see if you can help.

14 comments:

NeedleGirlHaystackWorld said...

it's the funniest thing when people go and judge others (including myself) because people will stay close to people who are dressed nicely and act nicely but they have no idea that, although the outside of their cup is clean, their insides are dirty and filthy. who are we to judge, whether for the better or the worse?

Katie Pedersen. said...

How perfectly worded. I appreciate this very much.

Story of a Girl said...

Thanks for challenging us to help. It's always easier to judge or trying to ignore the deep issues ---but we have to help the hurting, lost, and the broken.

sui said...

I completely concur. this is why I don't judge anyone as a "bad" person. even people who hurt others or do terrible things, they have their history and their reasons. it is sadness and misery that prompts any bad action.

mikeage said...

I absolutely agree. Nobody should ever be labeled as a bad person or even a stupid person because those same people you condemn would condemn you for a mistake you may have made. Nobody will ever be perfect. Everyone falls, everyone makes mistakes, and it's not our place to call them bad people. We need to empathize and help these people learn and grow rather then put them down even more.

minniechick404 said...

I love the analogy of our life being our little empire because it is so true. how often do we look to the side of the rode and see a group of people and judge them for how they look or dress. each and every person on this planet is a minimalist of one another always ready for combat when there is no need. but i guess that's everytime we try to do/assume things on our own... we will always find ourselfs down on the ground with the realization of the fact that we are guilty on the same crime as the person next to us. maybe not in the same exact way (for example: Mathew 5:27-30 that if we have lust in our heart for someone of the opposite sex outside of marriage that it is cosidered the same, in God's eyes as adultry) but when it comes down to the dot we are all sinners and i am so thankful for a patient God who still loves me even if i happen to be a helpless failure.

Hudson said...

Absolutely. What we all need is a little more grace and a little less condemnation.

sun of someone said...

excellent

Raechel said...

It's amazing that Jesus demonstrates grace to us, despite our judgments and treatment of others-- we need to use this grace as a power-up to help each other when it's all too often used as a cover-up to justify the misery of others.

punkeymonkey529 said...

i love this.

Jessica said...

People look, but they never really see. A person who may appear to have it all together, who dresses in the nicest of clothes and whose hair and makeup are always perfect, may not be who they seem. They may have been bullied, and now the self- conciousness remains. The boy who seems to be dirty, and gross, and may not have showered in weeks, may be poor, and by no fault of his own. His parents could be drug adicts, and forgot to pay the water bill. But then you dont know what happened in the parents lives to make them that way. People are so quick to judge someone they dont even really know, so quick to assume that they are the way they are by choice. I myself am guilty of it. I judge people every day. People judge me every day. Its an unfair, injust, and cruel reality.

-lindsay- said...

this blog certainly resonates for me...
kind of ironic, i was rambling along about a similar concept yesterday... and then this morning saw this post!
i find it fascinating that we as people put ourselves in a place that we assume what it's like, as if we are better than the person going through those troubles simply because we don't have them and therefore know how to put people back on track to not having them.

we've never been homeless, a drug addict, depressed, a cutter, or an alocholic.
so of course we know how to best help people out of it because we are and always have been out of it, right?
if only people didn't think that way...

i find that understanding that we don't understand puts us in the best position to help... and a lot closer to realizing and understanding what they're going through... just by simply acknowledging that we don't know.
even when you're the one going through something understanding that you don't understand puts you in good place.

just yesterda i was listening to augustana's "Boston" and wondering how many people i conversed with on a daily basis had 'chains' that no one knew about or understood...

and now i'm rambling on a comment, haha, i shall end this before it turns pages long!

Kristina said...

"it is so much easier to say 'get a job' then 'let me help you find one'."

truth. a hard truth, but true nonetheless.

BrontoButtons said...

It is so interesting that we who have never experienced poverty and homelessness will judge those who are locked in its grips. I recall one time some friends and I were leaving a local mall, and found a man standing at the intersection with a sign asking for money. We had just had lunch and spoke amongst ourselves, asking if he would walk into a store and buy a sandwich or buy alcohol. We were worried about perpetuating his problem by helping him in the way he was asking, so we did something different. We gave him one half of a sub we hadn't eaten at our lunch, just as our light turned green. He looked at us strangely, but smiled, too, as though he thought we could understand him, for just that moment in time.
It was one moment where, although we did think of all the stereotypes that come with seeing someone in need, we did something different about it, and I think this is the key, as you say. You challenge us to do something. At that moment, we could not help him find a job, but we helped to feed him for one meal. If we can all do something like this, I think we can move towards a better and friendlier understanding of the human condition.