fail flat on your face.
im in montreal, walking up and down the streets, exploring in stereotypical fashion, when i glace up and see a sunglass’ advertising that says ‘no regrets’. no regrets? really? people still say that, or rather people still believe that?
to live without regrets is ridiculous, it would in essence be saying that every decision you had made in the past was either the correct one, it was stupid and you don’t care, or you had a lobotomy and are lethargic.
we have to live with regret, it haunts some of us every day, for others we drowned it in substance, entertainment, or preoccupation. making bad decisions is a part of life, but we learn from them and we move on, constantly aware of our weakness and trying at all costs to avoid it. to say ‘no regrets’ is to fail flat on our face stand up, throw our fist and cheesy mantra in the air and fail again with no regard for our own human dignity or responsibility.
the ad was 2 couples all wearing sunglass’ sitting in each others laps, as if to say, ‘something happened last night and we don’t care.’ congratulation’s? you just slept around and instead of feeling guilty or at the very least feeling kind of sleezy you just woke up sat in your partners laps and then put on sunglasses? i just want you to look your parents in the face and right after you tell them your pregnant yell ‘no regrets!’. or better yet when your at the doctor and he says ‘i am so sorry i have bad news about something you have contracted’ you get on the examining table and yell ‘no regrets’ then march out of his office singing a clash song.
so learn from what you have done wrong, after all who cares that you messed up! we all do! it is what happens from this day forth that matters.
to error is human, to put sunglasses on afterwards and do the same thing over again is just stupid.
to live without regrets is ridiculous, it would in essence be saying that every decision you had made in the past was either the correct one, it was stupid and you don’t care, or you had a lobotomy and are lethargic.
we have to live with regret, it haunts some of us every day, for others we drowned it in substance, entertainment, or preoccupation. making bad decisions is a part of life, but we learn from them and we move on, constantly aware of our weakness and trying at all costs to avoid it. to say ‘no regrets’ is to fail flat on our face stand up, throw our fist and cheesy mantra in the air and fail again with no regard for our own human dignity or responsibility.
the ad was 2 couples all wearing sunglass’ sitting in each others laps, as if to say, ‘something happened last night and we don’t care.’ congratulation’s? you just slept around and instead of feeling guilty or at the very least feeling kind of sleezy you just woke up sat in your partners laps and then put on sunglasses? i just want you to look your parents in the face and right after you tell them your pregnant yell ‘no regrets!’. or better yet when your at the doctor and he says ‘i am so sorry i have bad news about something you have contracted’ you get on the examining table and yell ‘no regrets’ then march out of his office singing a clash song.
so learn from what you have done wrong, after all who cares that you messed up! we all do! it is what happens from this day forth that matters.
to error is human, to put sunglasses on afterwards and do the same thing over again is just stupid.
Comments
I love you and I love your blog posts. I love that you wrote this, and I agree with nearly every word of it except 1, "apart." Only because the grammar nazi inside me cannot let this go. "Making bad decisions is apart of life" = wrong. "a part" of life would be correct.
Don't take my meaningless grammar comment to mean I don't care about what you said. I'm glad you said it. I've just got my own ridiculous soapbox because I seem to see that everywhere lately, and it stabs me in the gut every time.
But on the substance of what you wrote. Yes yes yes, I agree, 100%.
My mom never understood people that "picked their battles" with their kids. "If you don't learn there are consequences for small mistakes you make, what will happen when you make a big mistake?"
'life is a cabaret old chum, come to the cabaret...'
sally certainly didn't have regrets.
welcome to the popular happy-go-lucky society where nothing is wrong...
or is it?
and THAT, is why i read your blog posts X)
On a more serious note though, I agree absolutely. Even to view "no regrets" as something to strive for is rather foolish and unrealistic. It's only in failing that we understand grace. It's only in regrets that we accept redemption.
which strangely I've found is easier said than done.
humans are diseased through and through.
If you ignore her you are most likely denying a part of your soul and living a cold existence. Don't be fooled, she will not allow you to forget her and will show up when you least expect her! She will grow to be a monster.
If you listen to her and take her in, she will be a companion that helps you step in the right direction, always watching out for your best interests.
I don't believe it's possible to get away from regret. It's up to you how you treat her!
i will probably regret this, but i am really glad stephen has terrible grammar. it reminds me he is human, otherwise he is very intimidating.
:)
I've always been the type of person to hide from my regret, but despite my constant need to hide away from it, it's always been there. I can fake a smile and pretend I have no regrets all I want, but the truth is, when I'm alone inside of myself, my regret takes over me. But, then, it's that regret that allows us to move forward and become a better person.
Without regret, we stay stuck in the same place we've always been.
Wow. I really hadn't thought about it that way before, thanks Stephen.
Same with music and the word "emo." Calling a bad emo comes across as a diss, even if the music that band plays is actually emo music.
LOL at Anonymous 2:56 PM - Wish you'd left your name :)
Ah.. I'm one of those crazy people, I'd like to think, will live a no regrets kind of life.. any mistake I make kind of moulds me and changes me.. ergo.. I wouldn't want to regret it, as it changed me somehow.. Just another opinion.. Saying that, I do wish I wore kitchen mittens while taking out cupcakes baked last time (instead of thinking I was super-woman).. Is that regret? Oh well.. C'est la vie..
Side note - Isn't Montreal such a colourful city?
But if you try and think it the other way, why wish that something that gave you a good lesson didn't happen? I don't think regretting and learning from choices and things we do are same process. Are they? Or is admitting one decicion not good the key part of regretting? For me, regret is a association of "god I wish that never happened" spiced with guilt and shame. Then again I can honestly say I've learned so much of those things I "regret" that I really cant say they shouldn't have happened. For without them I wouldn't learned many lessons of life.
So what I'm saying is that it's hugely a matter of perspective. The only things I can say I regret from my point of view are those done to hurt others.
And I'm aware MY grammar sucks ;) don't really writer nor speak English that often.
Reminds me of those sunglasses ads that say "Never Hide." Those make me want to rant as well.
To elaborate, I have a quote from the movie Twilight written on a piece of paper on my computer desk:
"Make as many mistakes as you can, that way when the next time you're asked what you want to be, you'll know."
Anyways, I really don't have anymore to add to this except to say you are so right, Stephen. Great post! You are truly a great writer and i love reading your blog posts.
HOWEVER, I do have a tendency to tell others that I have no regrets. This is not to say that I like/enjoy all of the things I've done and the decisions I have made. I have made many poor decisions and suffered guilt and other consequences as a result. But, through those consequences, I have learned and grown as a person. I do not regret the mistakes I have made and I would never do anything to change them, if anything because of the fact that I have learned NOT to do those things again.
I'm not promoting the idea of intentionally making mistakes for the sake of learning, though. It is always something that should be avoided. Your actions/decisions affect others, not only yourself. And saying that you were only trying to learn from your mistakes is no excuse. It's very important to give apologies where apologies are due in that case, which involves swallowing your pride.
The only reason I might ever wish to have not made a mistake is because of how it has affected the people I love. That is the worst part of any potential "regret" in my mind.