journal entry 5.17.06 ramblings on the veracity puzzle
i believe we are not and island to ourselves because clearly when others give us apart of themselves (whether it be their intellect, faith, or opinion) we do not only take a piece of their proverbial puzzle, but we then try our best to attach it where might fit the best, if at all. and they take from us as well. whether good or bad, right or wrong, positive or negative.
the other day as me and dorian were sitting outside wishing it were a few degrees cooler and i proceeded to surrender to him my struggles, not that he could ever relate or sympathize, but that i could hand him a section of me that was an aggravation to maintain. why does handing something verbally over to someone feel so freeing? as if now it is their burden to share as well, even though that could not be further from the truth.
i wonder if the reason i don’t tell one person alone every aspect of my life is because i’m afraid of what they might find out. as if one person alone held every key they would realize i am simply human. so silence is a defense mechanism. silence allows the ability to have opinions formulated not by who you truly are but by what others think you are.
well silence has never had its way with me before, so why begin now. i want to hear what others believe, i realize that the more i know the more i realize i have not a damn clue. i want to learn truth, i think we all do, there is something out there greater than ourselves, that can complete our own ‘puzzle’, because i see now we were never complete to begin with. though i find solace in the words and wisdom of others, i see that knowledge and understanding are only the beginning of any quest for veracity.