a brief social commentary #3 (mating rituals of homo sapiens)

i find it so intriguing the way us humans participate in the mating ritual. time and time again i would be watching national geographic channel or discovery and i would gasp to myself as to the correlation between the animal and the human "pull". i once saw a male bird build a nest for days and days, and after calling all the female birds in the area several female birds came and sat in the nest. if she felt comfortable, stable, and taken care of she would stay and if not she would leave.
have you ever driven in an area of town where the houses are run down and trash lines the streets and noticed that the cars that the home owners drive are mercedes, bmw's, and other such high priced cars? i always wondered if that was some sort of adaptation where they attract the female, much like the bird, by putting their best foot forward and giving the female the illusion of stability & comfort.

next time you are participating in a social event watch the "single" people around you, the first stance you will notice is the individual guy and girl groups. the male species will most likely be levying for alpha male status, this is observed through simple things like eye contact or lack there of, slaps on the back, even the way they sit or stand plays a part. reaserchers stated "that success (in the male group) came from expansive “dominant male” gestures towards fellow men. Leaving women in no doubt that they were the focus of attention (with the other males) was also key; then there is the glance twords the female or females of his desire."

after men have volleyed for position amongst their own gender it is on to the glance, they begin to watch or look in the direction of the female or females of their desire. the same researchers noticed that for a successful conversation to occur there was at least "13 glances in half an hour for the average “pull”.*

after the conversation is initiated then it is time for whit, charm, and humor to click in. in all reality we are summing up the other person to see if they would be a good potential mate. would she be a good mother to my children, would she care for the nest, would she even be fertile, is she healty? all these questions never once enter the conversation subconsciously they are imperative. (of course she is thinking the same thing; can he produce, can he protect, is he healthy, etc.)

men want women to know that they are conquerors and can supply stability to the nest; this usually comes out by talking up the males current employment, stories of financial victory, & the cost of what we drive away in. we want them to know that we are healthy; this is a visual observation and is the reasoning why the male will spend hours in a gym, absorbing a fake tan, and picking out clothing that shows off the weight they have or have not obtained. the male wants the female to know that he is brave and can protect the nest/territory: you can hear it when you observe the male tell stories of athletic victory's, other various aggressive sports he may have participated in, adventure & outdoor activities, or other such demanding tasks.

its rather funny if you break it down to the scientific aspect of a lot of things we do. but to us they are just ordinary, no one is 'wierd' if they check out someone of the opposite sex or talk about camping in the wilderness, but what are they really trying to say or the character quality they are trying to portray.

*(john elliott, uk sunday times article)

post script: ladies please don't think about this social commentary on your next date, or you will be laughing to yourself the whole time after you realize he is telling you all these stories and trying to be witty just so you will come back to the nest that he has built and then attempt to make sure you feel comfortable, stable, and taken care of so you won't leave. (unless of course... he lives with his parents).


Anonymous said…
The world of dating is so crazy and all too predictable. There are so many social standards for it: dinner and a movie, the guy drives and pays. I find myself detesting dating because it seems all to formal and false.

You're observations of the rituals are definitely correct. It really does turn into a competition. A ridiculous, yet inevitable, competition.
Alice said…
It really is some sort of competition or game in which we hope to find, attract, and win the "right one." This goes for both guys and girls. We all have our special strategies and game plans that we learn from society and our community - some more obvious than others.
Meg-a-roni said…
that's why it's so important to not just know the person you are going out with, by going on dates with them, but by truly knowing them through a long friendship and seeing how they react to different situations. When people go on dates, like you said, they try to impress their date and hide things from them. But, if you really get to know them through their friends and family, and seeing them over a long period of time how they interact with others, then you will be able to see their true character.
Anonymous said…
I believe in Love.
sambo said…
i agree with what meg-a-roni said
Anonymous said…
also interesting to observe- body stance and language to show that guys and gals are interested in one another. often times more of an indicator than conversation. having studied in the feild of biology, mating rituals is among the most interesting to delve into

good stuff Stephen

--just a girl
Alice-Bo-Balice said…
I too agree with what Meg-A-Roni said. I read this book called I Kissed Dating Goodbye. My Dad told me about it. It's very intresting. I encourage you to check it out if you haven't already.
Anonymous said…
dating is a way of finding out different attributes about people that you like and dislike. If you like certain things about a person then you continue and build a relationship. That can be determined as friendship, courtship,ect.... but it is none the less a relationship. the scientifics of it are fine if you just want to look at it from a far. What happend though to meeting someone and going out for coffee, talking becoming friends over dim lighting and good music, and then letting the Lord take over? He created us animalistic as we are. He knows us and I still believe that He created someone just for me show-off or shy..though i would prefer shy...just for me all the same.
Anonymous said…
This is funny. I don't know why I find this so funny. I should "study humans" more often.
loveenduresall said…
See you can give advice! ;)

Matthew said…
I totally understand what you're talking about, Stephen. My friend and I have discussed the human mating rituals and have decided that, underneath all of the coverup, they resemble those of animals. It's really very funny...
lizzy said…
someone had to mention the infamous josh harris, didn't they?

maybe i am too sensitive for my own good, but the sizing up that you described so accurately usually makes me feel demeaned, as if the sizer-upper thinks he can discover all he wants to know with a mere 13 glances across the room.
but i realize that i have been guilty of doing the very same thing, on too many occasions. dating confuses me. i'm not against it, i just find it uncomfortable. i'm picky, i guess.

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