The Modesty Writers Guild

i am going to regret putting this post up here. its pretty late at night and im feeling vulnerable and somewhat dillusional. i will probably take this down tomorrow. but for some reason i feel compelled to admit my guilt. in some ways maybe this is some sort of bizarre and twisted therapy. i am guilty. i have, and will fail. but i need to get over my superman complex and become vulnerable so that others can learn from my error. ive come to see what a bastard of a human i have been in my life. i think it all started around the age of 21, maybe earlier. it wasn't sex i sought out in women. ever. it was merely the attention. and not just the attention from humans it was from only females. sad really. actually not even sad, its pathetic. i desired to be desired ironically. and that's it. once i was accepted it was over on some level. i bought a shirt 2 days ago. it said CHANGE. random that some wear their heart on their sleeve, but modern fashion allows me to wear it on my chest a...

"architecture is but frozen music". - Johann Wolfgang

my brother and i were discussing the innocence of children and he wrote this. its simple but maybe one of the most profound statements of my year thus far. by the way... hayden is my beautiful goddaughter (& niece). 'Every generation is a completely blank slate. It just occurred to me today that many things do not exist in Hayden's perceptual world. She has no idea about death, drugs, sex, burns, hate, homosexuality, abortion, cells, atoms, global warming, cancer, insanity, depression, anxiety, betrayal, religion, a perceptual higher power, war... it's no wonder kids are so happy. Maybe Adam and Eve in that garden were just children. But if they were children, wouldn't it be abundantly predictable that those kids are gonna get into them apples...' -paul edward

my friend ben harben has revamped anchorandbraille.com and i put up a new song that aaron marsh (copeland) and & did back in the winter break. the song is not mixed or matered but at least you can get some idea of where we are going.

while reading this post, i think the most suitable song to listen to would be watashi wa's song ten years and separating... let me be up front and honest. i have no idea what i am going to write about. i look back at the last couple weeks and try to wrap into words all that i have learned or experienced for some type of reading enjoyment. so instead of giving some psuedo-grandious story i will chop it up into my to-be-expected adhd rantings. i applied my philosophy that i adopted from leonardo di vinci of being a universal man/women. 'it is better to know a little about alot, then alot about a little.' instead of being one sided when it comes to music i have been exploring the last couple years... but my latest discovery is the blues. my favorite song these last couple weeks has been 'i live the life i love, and love the life i love,' performed by buddy guy. jazz is the pop version of blues, blues comes right out of the abolishment of slavery. its heartfelt lyrics o...

'I know God will not give me anything I can't handle. I just wish He didn't trust me so much.' -mother teresa i feel so distrustful at this moment from those i see as 'adults.' better yet those i view in a leadership role, or socially placed on pedestal. these last 1 1/2 weeks may have been the hardest week of my family/ my life. unknown to me while i was on tour, my mother had been fighting a 104 degree phenomena attack and it was finally time that home remedies stop and an 'expert' opinion granted. we should have stayed home. talking to my mom on the phone the night she waadmitteded to the hospital i remember it being brief as she was coherent but very very weak. i remember a rushed 'love ya' as was atypical for family conversations, not always meaningful, but stated. the next night my brother called right before i walked on stage in winston salem to tell me the state my mother was in. avelox. a typical drug administered to pneumonia patients ...

recently a friend showed me this website that nasa updates each day. http://antwrp.gsfc.nasa.gov/apod/astropix.html this is the most amazing picture i have ever seen of space. this is The Tadpoles of IC 410 Credit & Copyright: Ken Crawford (Rancho Del Sol Observatory) 'Explanation: This close-up view shows a portion of otherwise faint emission nebula IC 410 in striking false-colors. It also shows two remarkable denizens of the glowing gas cloud at the right - the "tadpoles" of IC 410. The picture is a composite of images taken through narrow band filters intended to trace atoms in the nebula. Emission from sulfur atoms is shown in red, hydrogen atoms in green, and oxygen in blue. Partly obscured by foreground dust, the nebula itself surrounds NGC 1893, a young galactic cluster of stars that energizes the glowing gas. Composed of denser, cooler gas and dust, the tadpoles are around 10 light-years long. Sculpted by wind and radiation from the cluster stars, their tails ...

i recently received a letter asking me about the subject of fitting in. i declare that the investment of being socially accepted has little or no return; in other words the value of fitting in makes no logical sense in the course of time. yet we persist to no avail. i remember the two events that led to my eventual departure from the ‘popular crowd’ to the separation of their church and my state. i was in 8th grade, dennison middle school, mrs. h’s class. her history classes were rather boring, and being that i was of the hyperactive mentality i was not doing so well. because i came from (at that time) a lower socioeconomic status, where money was reserved for more important staples like milk, bread, and cheerios. needless to say my fashion sense suffered, and i felt inadequate next to the children of the upper class. one night my family set out to lakeland (an adjacent town) to visit ross, a discount clothing store for discontinued or disfigured garments. for us this was a big ...

After contemplation, I conclude that this award which I receive on behalf of that movement is a profound recognition that nonviolence is the answer to the crucial political and moral question of our time - - the need for man to overcome oppression and violence without resorting to violence and oppression. Civilization and violence are antithetical concepts. Negroes of the United States, following the people of India, have demonstrated that nonviolence is not sterile passivity, but a powerful moral force which makes for social transformation. Sooner or later all the people of the world will have to discover a way to live together in peace, and thereby transform this pending cosmic elegy into a creative psalm of brotherhood, If this is to be achieved, man must evolve for all human conflict a method which rejects revenge, aggression and retaliation. The foundation of such a method is love. I accept this award today (nobel peace prize) with an abiding faith in America and an audacious fait...

Aaron Marsh * Copeland w/ stephen christian *anberlin Franc & pimberly Monday, January 16th @ The CSC (adjacent to UF) 112 NW 16th St. Gainesville, Florida 32603, USA doors open at 8:30 $5 Pre-sale/ $7 Door 352-379-7375 for more info

thanks guys for the overwhelming response to the trip to haiti. i had no idea that you guys cared about the rest of the world with such exhilarating passion! so that being said i am running 50 more lithographs, this time on even thicker paper and with metallic ink. due to the cost of this (and shipping) these posters are going to be $20. again ALL the money raised from this poster pay for supplies to build, transportation, food, & sleeping arrangement. please contact me @ modestyguild@gmail.com thanks so much! your indebted friend, stephen christian

hello friends and family, i wanted to fill you in and tell you about the opportunity i have to go to haiti for 2 weeks in may/june with a group of close friends, in several other bands, that i assembled. i got tired of telling people here on modesty that they should make a difference with their lives and realized that i need to go make a difference in more than just a music scene. i will be helping to add on a wing to an orphanage (and school) in the heart of port-au-prince, haiti. this is a dangerous trip as there have been several american kidnappings in recent history, but i can't let that stand in the way of potentially making a change in my life and in the world. in light of this i am trying to raise money to get myself and several other people airlines, food, supplies, and lodging for the weeks we will be staying there. i have made limited addition (50) signed and numbered lithograph prints for my solo project (they are the size of a poster, and are a cardboard ...

January 1st. the beginning of subtle ends. every year we make these grandiose statements about ideas and goals we hope to attain overnight. literally, as if making a promise at midnight will hold up till noon the next day. i say forget new years resolutions. life is not about make 100% changes overnight. life is not a sprint to get what we want, but a slow and steady marathon to things we know we can become. if we decide to change our life i vote that it not be a dramatic turnaround, because we assimilate to the comfortable. instead try theory of 1%. whatever the goal is don’t blitzkrieg to attain but be slow and steady. is your office a mess? don’t organize the entire thing today, because in a month you will be right back to where you started. instead take today to file 1% of the items on your desk. tomorrow do 1% more, and the next day do 1% more. in no time you will be where you want to be, and naturally you will teach yourself the invaluable lesson of organization. do you want to ...

i am sorry about not giving you updates on the recording process, but we took a break for aaron to see his friend that is a girl, and for me to take a quick business trip (anberlin) to hawaii. right now im sitting in starbucks (wierd) in the middle of oahu. hawaii is like one huge cultivated disney theme park, its absolutly flawless. we will pick back up and record in january, because i am producing a band called 'the vow,' from lakeland, florida. ill tell you more later, but until then please buy an album from the band 'the innocence mission,' they are all im listening to here. (if for some reason i should stop breathing on this trip please tell my family that i want 'these days' by nico played at my ending ceremony)

So, I learn from my mistakes. It's a very painful way to learn, but without pain, the old saying is, there's no gain. I found that to be true in my life. You miss a lot of opportunities by making mistakes, but that's part of it: knowing that you're not shut out forever, and that there's a goal you still can reach. - Johnny Cash

this is so out of my element at points. i forget that im not restricted by a record label or pop formula. this is definitely a growing point in my musical life, i feel as an artist i am exploring into the depths of music without getting arty for art's sake. we came up with an idea on the song 'sheet music' to set the mic up right on the piano so i in essence sing right into the piano. we put books on the pedal so that the piano would hold every note i sang. the outcome is lush and noticeable. when you hear the song you will pick up on it. i really enjoy working with aaron, he has an ear for music and knows where i want to take this music. i have had a lot of cool people hanging out around me during this process. john bucklew, franc, lamar grey, travis mitchels, racheal and racheal, jack, drew, nichole, etc. thanks guys for the support and free coffee. -estaban

good news everyone. aaron is now officially mayor of space. we haven't started yet today because he had to purchase a sad happy tree day. no big deal. we have started on the vocals already, and i couldn't be happier. we are going to leave a lot of 'mistakes' because i want the recording to sound real, like your actually in the studio or listening to us live. i have some acoustic shows coming up and will give you more info on them when i get it (including fordham university, nyc in december). -estaban *if you want me to play at your university/coffee shop just fly me out and ill do it! email: kyle@arsonmediagroup.com