Friday, January 02, 2004

So choice vs. Destiny

I used to believe in this thing called fate, or destiny. A romantic Romeo and Juliet, and Monte and Veronica, etc. But now I feel a little jaded, maybe agnostic to the idea. But choice used to seem so unromantic, as if some mystic force was not behind the meeting of 2 beautiful individuals. But now I think choice is now the greater of the two simply for this fact: by choosing someone you are saying that out of all the people in the entire world I have decided that I want you apart of my life, for the rest of my life, and no one else. No haphazard circumstance, no chance meetings where distant planets align... Its simply two rational individuals who make a choice and an effort to remain together.
and for years I have convinced myself that choice is the better of the two. But now I want to believe in fate, that there is someone out there created with me in mind and vice versa.

3 comments:

Topekan said...

I asked a girl to marry me this past January. We've been dating for five years. As much as I think that this is all my doing, I become humbled when I realize that she is a gift of God. God chose her for me. To me, this is comforting. God looking out for me, loving me. It is now my choice to honor Him by honoring her. Because it's my choice, I will not be perfect. But to the best of my ability, I will serve her and pray for God to hold us up.

Story of a Girl said...

I believe it's both choice and destiny. It's allowing God to choose for You. Believing that His choice is the best choice for you. And then choosing to love and be committed till "death do us part" as they say =)

Jax said...

I know this entry is over five years old but I felt the need to comment seeing how I finally feel at peace with the delicate balance that I believe occurs between choice and fate. My theory is that choice (of my own) and fate (of His own) are doing a constant dance. Intertwining and building on each other. I believe that He does create someone while keeping you in mind. That He will present them to you. Sometimes this will be uber (forgot the alt code of umlauts) obvious and others so subtle that if you aren't paying attention you could miss it. I think that it's then you choice whether or not you peruse it and dig deeper. I've had this belief ever since high school. It's what drives me to make the most out of ever situation even if I'm scared to the core. Of course sometimes I falter. I had the chance to say what an amazing job I thought Stephen Christian and Anberlin did the first time I ever saw them play at the House Of Blues in Cleveland March 2005 . The chance to say "thank you, I've never had music touch me like that". I digress, my apologies. I am fortunate enough to have found my other half at the young age of 23. We were on this awful camping trip. The trail map that we were given was so out of date that most of the trails were now 35+mph roads, it rained the entire time, and only half of the group came prepared to go exploring in the woods. Our campsite was also at the foot of a hill which isn't a big deal unless it's raining and it was. Lastly our camp site was an arms reach away from a cabin with the A/C running on high. Not your ideal camping trip at all. However, it is by far the best Memorial Day weekend I've ever had. The company was amazing and of course I found my other half. He went to a different college and was visiting a mutual friend of ours. He was shy but you could tell he was trying his best to be himself around someone new. While cooking hotdogs I noticed his ring, which was the symbol for Blue Magic in the card game: Magic The Gathering. A nerd match in paradise we are. As the day went on he opened up and we all had a great time enjoying each others company despite our busted camp site. The point of going into that story is this. I fully believe that it was fate that brought us together at this exact time in our lives. He'd been down to OU many of times to visit our mutual friend and I've always had some other obligation to attend to when invited out with them. I've had a dozen opportunities to meet my other half but I feel strongly that God chose to have us meet at this time. However, I also believe that it was my choice to peruse him. Thanks to the stalker qualities of Facebook I was able to track him down and we spent countless hours talking online and on the phone. No topic was too taboo or invasive. We took a risky chance and decided to be completely open from the start. To not test the waters with our toes but to just take that leap and dive right in. It takes courage to open up like that to an almost complete stranger. To resist the urge to pretend to be a carefully filtered version of ourself. Hoping that down the road you'll have them hooked enough into the relationship that your true colors can finally start to show. God brought us together at this time for a reason but, I fully believe it was up to us to seize this opportunity.